But what if you don't choose to co-sleep...

[duckdowne]

There is a lot around about the great debate of whether to "co-sleep" with your baby. But what if you have no choice in children sharing your bed!

We have a 5 year old who is currently back in his phase of coming into our bed in the early hours of the morning. Sometimes it wakes me (but never heavy sleeping husband of course) and at other times I wake in the morning to find him there.

Our 3rd son was born early June. We made a BIG effort prior to that to carry/wake our wandering son and put him back to bed. But now we seem to be back where we started! :roll:

Has anyone got any tips for freeing up some space in our bed?!?!?! :help:

[Naomi]

Has anyone got any tips for freeing up some space in our bed?!?!?!
Get a bigger bed?? Sorry, I don't have any tips, at the moment our boy is too little to get out of his cot and get into our bed (and in any case, shows no inclination to want to sleep with us anyway). Is your little baby co-sleeping too? Because that would be squashy!

I hope it's just a phase and he grows out of it soon. Hopefully someone else will have some tips for you :)

[Leigh]

Sorry I cannot offer any advice Emma. I have been lucky touch wood, none of my children have ever been into the sleeping in our bed thing. It's just not something they have ever done, I don't think they would even think of it.
I do know from friends tho, that is can be a hard habit to break. Hard to stop him, when half the time you don't even know he is already there.

Could you maybe put a gate on your door? Or maybe one those lock type things, have no idea what they are called, where the hook goes into the hole? That way you can still have your door open a little to hear things, but he cannot get in?

Sorry I cannot be of more help, I do hope you are able to get your bed back soon :(

[duckdowne]

Thanks guys for posts! To answer your question Naomi bub isn't sleeping in with us too. That would be a shocker.

[Pam]

Emma :waves: , I'm just butting it to say I love your Avatar :)

[Gidget]

Emma - I too am battling a determined 4yo child who is "too scared" to sleep in his bed all night. It disturbs my sleep and my husband gets grumpy as he has less room to move, but I need to help my son not 'be scared'.

I have been working hard to get him to go back to his bed through a number of things:

Before bed I tell him he needs to sleep in his bed all night. I reassure him that there is nothing to be scared about - monsters aren't real, no one will come into our house, etc and tell him I will give him a cuddle in my bed in the morning (when the sun comes up).

When he comes in during the night, I tell him to go back to bed. Sometimes he takes himself back and sometimes he would ask me to give him a cuddle or tuck him in which I do, but I don't pat him or give any other comforts.

Often he gets out of bed again an hour or so later and comes in, saying he is too scared to sleep in his bed - I tell him it is OK to feel scared, but there is nothing to be scared about (as per above) and I take him back to bed again (or he takes himself).

In the last week he managed to sleep in his bed all night for 5 nights in a row (this is a first and it was bliss!). He came in last night though - he was sick and coughing so couldn't sleep - so I took him back to his bed and sat with him while he went back to sleep. This is not ideal, but given he was sick I gave in. I remembered how much I liked having my mum be near me when I was sick...

I think it is important to use a calming voice for all of these discussions and not get angry or frustrated. It is a difficult thing to break a habit like the nightly snuggle - and who doesn't love a warm cuddle! But is sounds like your child, like mine, is old enough to understand they can have cuddles in the morning and during the day, but at night, we all need to have a good sleep in our own beds.

They need to learn to have the confidence to go back to sleep on their own if they wake up. Knowing that you will still be there in the morning for a cuddle seems to help. Praise their efforts whenever they try to do it (or say they will do it), even if they don't succeed, as eventually they will.

On another tack, it they are keen on having a sleepover at a friend's place, explain that sleeping in your bed all night is one of the things you need to do on a sleepover, so once they can do this, they can have the sleepover! That gives them a goal to work towards.

Do keep trying - even though you get tired and frustrated. It will work eventually. You don't hear of too many teenage boys sleeping in their parents bed!!!