Wedding Invite List

[Lea]

Adam and I are having trouble working out who to put on our wedding invite list, and I was wondering how you and your spouse went about it?????

Did you pick a certain amount of people each, have a maximum number of people, only invited close family etc etc

And what about people that you were friends with, but those two people didn't get on? did you invite both or neither?

We've still got over a year before the big event, but I'm trying to organise a few things now so I won't stress out too much when the day gets closer.

[Mad Old Cow]

it's your special day Lea, so you only invite the people that you really want there & only people that will help you to celebrate your happiest day yet

[Teeka]

I first decided my budget and where I wanted the reception held and went from there.

[Heather]

Same as Cassie..........we had our wedding and reception on a friends boat and we were limited to 50 passengers. As we were paying for the whole thing ourselves, and taking into account immediate family, we had room for 30 more. We invited 20 of our and gave each set of parents 5 each to invite.
Good luck.............

[CarolineBreck]

Never planned a wedding but you just worry about having YOUR important people there. If they don't get along they should get over it and handle themselves as adults for your special day. :yes:

[Barbara]

I have to agree with New Di :yes:

It's your big day and you should invite the people YOU really want there to share your day.

It is a really hard decision to make though - we had a lot of trouble with ours but in the end decided that it was our wedding and did what we wanted.

I wish you good luck with it :)

[yomamma]

Well first on the list should be all of us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Family first then close friends. Stay in your budget, very important that one.

[kat311299]

hey lea why you and your fiance write a list of your friends and family who you want to come to your wedding

[GINAinLA]

It is your special day, so do what you can afford and what makes you comfortable.

My husband and I paid for our own wedding and kids were not allowed nor did we invite guest of people , so like if we had single friends we didnot put plus guest.

[kimba]

it's your special day Lea, so you only invite the people that you really want there & only people that will help you to celebrate your happiest day yet

I totally agree. As long as its within your budget pick who YOU want not who your family wants.:)

[Colby]

Having gotten married just over a year ago I know how difficult it is to decide on your guest list but really, a wedding is a very personal thing... consider pulling together a list of A and B guests... those that you really want to be part of your special day and those that you would like to invite but are unsure of. Then decide on your budget, and then cull if you need to.

We started with what sort of wedding did we want and we chose small and intimate. By limiting the numbers we could afford to have the sort of wedding we wanted (we paid for it). We took the approach that we really just wanted people who have been there for us in our lives and who will be around for a long time. We did speak to our parents about who they wanted to invite, and some people we did say no about inviting, purely because they had nothing to do with us.

If you decide to keep the numbers small be prepared for some people to be a little upset that they were not invited. When an aquaintance or a family friend said something about the wedding, I said "we're having a very small wedding of close family and friends".

Good luck :D

[Lea]

Ahh, such wise women:)

We had originally each written a list of who we wanted to invite. Some were put into the definate category, and others into the maybe category. And we decided to have 100 people max ( we were thinking of having more of a cocktail style 'do' which would be cheaper than the sit down dinner). That included the small wedding party.

Now due to some of my family sticking their beaks in, Adam wants a very small intimate wedding, but I'm not sure what I want.:headh: It doesn't help that I have a large family. My cousin had a very small intimate wedding on Hamilton Island a few years back....and some of the family are still complaining about not getting an invite. They have taken it so personally.

I think part of me wants a good portion of my family there as both of my parents have passed away.

[Heather]

My apologies to Adam, but this is your wedding....practically from the time we are born we fantasise about our special day, and if you do not have the wedding of your dreams (within budget of course) then a part of you will always regret it.

I think part of me wants a good portion of my family there as both of my parents have passed away.
Have you told him that this is how you feel?
A word of warning...there will usually be someone who will take issue with the wedding, plans, invites etc.......try as much as you can to ignore them and just enjoy the moment.
As you get closer to the day, everything will get much more problematic, so try and iron out things as early as possible.

[sandydee]

we got married 2 years ago and we paid for it ourselves:yes: so we decided it was our decision on who we invited:yes: we had just over 50 from memory of family on both sides and both of our friends and some of our close workfriends:yes: it was a buffet meal .we had no children apart from our families which the youngest was 12:yes: .the younger ones were at the wedding but not reception :yes: no matter which way you go someone always has/had an opinion:headh: best of luck with it all,and like all the other women have said just remember it is your day.:) p.s we talked about eloping at one stage but now we look at photos/dvd and are glad we didnt as we lost 2 family members the next year so are grateful to look back at them:)

[yomamma]

I was going to say elope, then everyone can be pissed of with you. I though of eloping but dh wanted a party, so party we had.
As Sandy has said, there will always be one to spoil things.

[Colby]

I think part of me wants a good portion of my family there as both of my parents have passed away.

Talk it through with Adam :) If family is important than make sure they are part of your day because the last thing you don't want is to regret not inviting someone.

As for other wedding organising tips... here are some scenarios I dealt with...

My MIL wasn't happy that my bridesmaids were wearing black and that I was wearing a red wedding dress. She told me a couple of months after our engagement that "she didn't want anything to do with our wedding" because I wasn't doing things the way "she" thought they should be done. She said he had always imagined "her son" having pastels at his wedding... yep, this lady wears a bright blue top with hot pink shoes, not DH's cup of tea. So I didn't involve her. Then as the wedding got closer she complained that "we" did not involve her or ask her to help :headh: So I gave her a task that wasn't important and it was all too hard for her :headh: so my FIL ended up doing it.

We couldn't win but I really tried not to let it bother me... then there was a few things that my mum was upset about.

Go with the approach... do what you want to do, if it upsets someone else then that's their problem. Also, compromise on the things that don't matter to you. As an example when I was looking at flowers my mum said "no lillies" and I hadn't planned on having them so I just said "sure, no lillies" she didn't need to know that I wasn't considering them.

Also take up the offer of people wanting to help but again, give them things that you don't or won't worry about. A friend of mine let another friend make all her wedding invitations. My SIL wanted to help coordinate things on the day so she was the contact person on our wedding day... if anything did go wrong, I didn't know about it.

I'm sure you get the drift :) Feel free to ask any question as I'm more than happy to help where I can :)

[Margo]

it's your special day Lea, so you only invite the people that you really want there & only people that will help you to celebrate your happiest day yet

Well said! :)

[Lea]

Adam and I had a good chat about the invite list on Sunday when I went up to visit him.

He started off by saying that all his life he's had people telling him what to do. And that he has had a gutful of it, that's why he wants a small wedding of family & friends who will be happy to just share our special day with us. And that we should just prepare ourselves for people getting angry about not getting invited.

Then he said that if I wanted something bigger...that we would meet halfway:) So I told him why I wanted a few more family members (about mum & dad not being there etc) and he said he understands completely. I then pointed out that I was mainly talking about my mum's side of the family who I've always been a lot closer too. Adam gets on well with all of mum's side and they've been the ones who have really been supportive & told us to do what ever we want. My uncle John even offered to walk me down the aisle and said he would be more than honoured to do it:yes: So I've got him as a stand-by in case something happens to my brother (who will be giving me away).

So now the invite list is up to about 35 people, with a couple of workmates and a few of my dad's side thrown in aswell. So it will still be fairly small and intimate.:yes:

Now that we seem to have that sorted.....we just have to agree on where to do itLMAO Adam has been talking about holding the wedding up around the vineyards..while I would still like to get married overlooking the ocean.:hehe:

Oh well, we still have (just over) a year to sort it all out.

And I was very good...and only mentioned his mother while talking about seating arrangements:hehe: :P

[yomamma]

That great you got it all sorted Lea.
I shall be waiting for my invite. I know you have my email.

[Heather]

Well done.......that must be a load of your mind.
Could you not reach a compromise on the location.....wedding in the vineyards and a honeymoon at the ocean or vice versa....see what you can afford.

[kat311299]

my mum walk me down the aisle because was doing been both of my parents but my dad passaway three months before i got married to shawn and we got shawn's second favourite uncle married us and his mum played the piano for us and that was nice of her

[Lea]

Could you not reach a compromise on the location.....wedding in the vineyards and a honeymoon at the ocean or vice versa....see what you can afford.


We are looking into what we can do in regards to the reception and honeymoon. One of the main problems is that it will be during peak holiday season, so things will be more expensive. :headh: Plus the Hunter Valley vineyards are such a popular place to get married.

I'll just have to get stuck into and see what we can sort out.:)

[Colby]

Good luck... maybe there is something close to the coastline that is also a vineyard. Get in contact with the Hunter Valley Tourist office and ask what information they could send you. It sounds like it's going to be a beautiful, and intimate wedding either way :D

[Lea]

After doing some research on the net yesterday morning I nearly fainted!:faint: :faint:

One of the vineyards stipulated that in peak season & on a Saturday that you must have at least 85 guests. And..that you must spend a minimum of $9,825!!!!:uhno: and if I read the terms correctly..that doesn't include the fee to hire the venue & we would have to provide the enteretainment ourselves :headh:

I'm sorry...but for that much money I would want everything laid on.:td:


Good luck... maybe there is something close to the coastline that is also a vineyard. Get in contact with the Hunter Valley Tourist office and ask what information they could send you. It sounds like it's going to be a beautiful, and intimate wedding either way :D

You know, you've got me thinking now Colby. There is a smaller vineyard up near Nelson Bay & it's only another 20 mins or so to the ocean. So maybe we could have photos at both the vineyard & the water:y: :>: I will have to give them a call:hehe:

Thanks Colby:hug: :clap:

[yomamma]

OH MY GOD that much money to use their thingy. For half that price i'll come down and cook for you and organise the party, then I know I'll get an INVITE.
Prices are just outrageous, do people have no morals when it comes to our special day.

[Lea]

Prices are just outrageous, do people have no morals when it comes to our special day.


You know, I am starting to wonder the same thing yomamma. People would tell me not to mention the word "wedding" when asking about functions....as the price seems to double automatically! And they are right.

It's almost like they are praying on our fears when it comes to pulling it all off. "Pay this unreasonably high figure and your wedding day will seem like a dream come true. Go anywhere else and you know you just won't be happy."