Missing Soulmate

[MiSsMeLz]

I didn't know where to put this, but I figure it'll just get moved anyway if they feel the need to. I just needed to say this and get it out.

I think I let my soulmate slip through my fingers so I could be with someone that turned out to be a boring slug. Yes I was with him for 2 and a half years, but he was still a boring slug.

Soulmate and I had been bestfriends (inseperable) for a few years and I liked him more than friends and think he felt the same way. I went to a friends birthday party one night and boring slug was there and we started flirting. Was only 16 and there was parentals there, so wasn't drunk. Boring slug was my brothers basketball coach (he was 17), so I already knew him as well. He called me a few days later and we talked for over 3 hours.

A few days later soulmate and I were at his house watching a movie on his bed and I had some tic tacs and he wanted some and I was teasing him and wouldn't let him have any so he tackled me and ended up on top of me and we did the whole look into each others eyes and see each other differently thing and I think he tried to kiss me coz he leant in, but I turned my head away coz I didn't know what was happening with boring slug. We went back to watching the movie and everything was the same as before.

A little while later boring slug and I started dating. Soulmate and I went to the same school and always hung out together there, but when he found out about boring slug, he started hanging out with other people and when I graduated (he was only 2 months younger, but a grade below), we lost contact totally. I wrote him letters and never got replies.

A few years ago he walked past somewhere I was working and it happened to be my lunch break and I stood up and said hi to him and he wrapped me up in one of the hugs that I always loved getting from him and all the old feelings were still there. I got major butterflies and tingles and everything.

I told him that I was engaged to dipshit (abusive ex. Boring slug was long gone.) and he told me that he had married a chick that he started seeing not long after me and boring slug got together. I'd known about this chick while we were at school, but she'd broken up with him thru a dear john letter and broken his heart just before I graduated. Apparently they got back together for their formal and got married later on. He told me that she'd changed, but I didn't believe him.

I haven't seen him since, but not a day goes by that I dont think about him, his smile, his laugh, his amazing cuddles and everything to do with him. I miss him and I realised a few years ago that I'd always loved him and I still do to this day. I get teary sometimes when I think about him and how maybe I'd be married with his babies now if I had let him kiss me that day ;( :( :crying:

Not many people know this, but now you all do :)

xx Melz

[Heather]

Don't look back with regret....it can have awful consequences for your future.
Just remember that you had a special time.

[milo]

Well some people may disagree with me, but I dont think you ever, ever get over your first love.

I am married and I am totally inlove with my man but I was with a guy for a few years when I was younger and it ended badly. But I think about him all the time, good things and bad.

I dont tell people this either coz I think they will think of me badly. But thats not my problem.

So I think what your feeling is perfectly normal..

Just dont try and get incontact coz you might do something you regret to your realationship now

[MiSsMeLz]

I have tried to find him, but just so we can have the friendship back. He is married now and would never cheat on his wife. Its not that I could have had him and let him go I guess, its more that I lost him totally, friendship and all. I have contacted a mutual friend of ours, but have yet to recieve a response. Will see what happens. There's a few people from school that I'm trying unsuccessfully to find as well. It hurts that these people aren't in my life anymore and they were once so special to me.

xx Melz

[kimba]

I think the way you are feeling is perfectly normal considering where you are in your life at the moment-you have said you do not have many friends where you are and are bored and lonely. Many people think of the what ifs? Kinda strange reading your post as it felt like a deja-vu moment as recently I ran into an old boyfriend I had not seen since we were bout 17-18. He had been my best friend for years but we had also gone out for a week or so till i broke up with him.We did remain friends after that too but he moved and I got into a diff crowd. Rather strange moment seeing him with his partner and holding her kid(not his). Had that strange little jump in the heart thing. I think with all the ex boyfriends there will always be a special place in your heart if they were good to you and the fact with this boy of yours is that nothing happened and you are now wondering what could off. I def think it would be a bad idea to go looking for him-innocent(u may think) or not. If u were meant to run into each other u would. There is no harm in daydreaming but do not get caught up in the fantasy.:)

[mumof2boys]

Hi Melz,
I know exactly how you feel, longing for the things that were in your life when it was so simple. I have been thinking about my past of late and wondering how different my life would have been if I'd taken a different path (a bit too much like sliding doors). I love remembering happy times and people who made me feel good about myself, especially since I've been suffering from depression. You need to be careful, though, that you don't make the mistake of letting these happy feelings from the past make you think that your life now isn't as good. You were saying earlier today in a different post how much you loved your boyfriend and didn't want your emotional probs getting in the way of your relationship. I think you need to remember this person from your past with love and leave him there, you and your boyfriend have many happy memories to share yet I'm sure!
Laura:)

[Heather]

Milo...you're right, you never forget the first.....it is very special.
However it is in the past.....look forward.

[Naomi]

I didn't know where to put this, but I figure it'll just get moved anyway if they feel the need to.

To reiterate. Again. Posts are moved to the appropriate forum to make it easier for all members to find things around the boards. Believe it or not, it's not a game we play for entertainment, it is actually quite time consuming for us to do this, but it does make things easier for everyone.

Each forum has a small blurb explaining what it is about which should make it easier to decide where to put things, if you'd like to read each one.

Thanks.

[djmastermum]

My Mum was in the same situation as you years ago, and she tracked the guy down, only to realise nothing was the same. She was so disappointed, and I really think it would have been better to leave it alone, and just remember the time they had together as a great memory.:hug:

[CarolineBreck]

You can't look back with regret. If it was meant to be with soulmate then it would have happened. It will happen again. You just have to have faith. :hug:

[Denise]

Just remember Melz the fantasy is always better than the reality:)

By the sounds of it you have a wonderful BF, just look forward not back and try to concentrate on the two of you. If he's not the one let him go so the two of you can move on:)

[MiSsMeLz]

I do love Stew very much and like I said, I don't want to find soulmate to have a relationship with him, I just miss the friendship. I'd be happy with just an occassional email every now and then. I'm not looking back with regret and I do very much look forward to my future with Stew, but I do miss talking to soulmate. We could talk about anything together and never get mad or judge each other.

xx Melz

[kimba]

We could talk about anything together and never get mad or judge each other.

xx Melz

U really should have that kind of relationship with your current partner if it is going to go anywhere. Don't forget you were young when you were friends people do change!

[MiSsMeLz]

Yeah I know. Stew and I can talk about things together and not get mad or judge, but because I've been hurt badly before and have major trust issues, I constantly feel like he's hiding stuff from me, even tho I know he's not. It's just strange. I miss the friendship more than the what-ifs. I'm happy with Stew, but its nice to have that someone else that you can talk to about other things that you don't want to talk about to your partner, like secret things your planning for your partner and funs things like that, not things I want to keep from him lol.

xx Melz

[Patricia]

I agree that these feelings are what you should be feeling with your current partner ...if you are yearning for what might have beens with somebody else then I think alarm bells should be going off in your head.

Earlier you were talking about moving in together..is this wise while you are thinking about somebody else?

[milo]

"I don't think that is what Melz is trying to say. I think she means that yes she does think about the what-ifs, but she really only misses the friendship. She doesn't want to be with him."

[MiSsMeLz]

Yeah, thats exactly what I meant. Thanks Mel :D

xx Melz

[milo]

Yeah, thats exactly what I meant. Thanks Mel :D

xx Melz

No probs :)

[SmallNads]

You know what, I honestly believe that if your find your soulmate that you should be very greatful. I feel that you don't have to marry or engage in a romantic relationship with your soulmate either.

I know who my soulmate is but I could never engage in a relationship with him. Maybe that's just me. I enjoy the friendship that we have had for years and I couldn't ask for anything more.

I know that sounds kind of silly but it makes me feel really good knowing that he's there for me no matter what. The funny thing is that we can go for months without speaking to eachother, but the moment something goes wrong we're there for eachother in a flash. That's what really matters.

[mummyof3babes]

That dosn't sound silly at all SmallNads, it sounds really nice. That's a true forever.

[MiSsMeLz]

Thats what I meant. A soulmate doesn't have to be someone you marry, they can just be a great friend :)

[kat311299]

i try to find my best friend i want her too be in my wedding but i miss her so much i speak to her step family they are real nice to me and my husband