Mothers Nightmares

[crashtestwoman]

Hi Girls,
I have a doozie of a question for you all and I hope you can help.:comfort:
My middle boy, Andrew, is 12 and for the last year has been a very private child, locks the door when showering ect. On friday night my boyfriend had to go in to the bathroom while he was showering to get my young son (15 months) because he was annonying Andrew and came out and told me that he knows why Andrew is being so private about things and won't wear underwear no matter what kind I buy. Apparantely my boy is ummmmm, well endowed shall we say. So well endowed that my beloved said that andrew is as big as he is (he is 42).
I don't know if I should brooch the subject with him. We are very open about the birds and the bees but we don't go around looking at each other in the nude or anything. Is this ummmmmm, condition;) , a problem for teenagers, does it make them more sexually aware. I have always taught him respect for himself and others but I'm thinking at 12 years old maybe he's too emotionally young to handle this type of situation???
Or am I just being an overwought parent who is worrying about nothing???:Hehe:
My older son (18) never gave me any problems because he was too lazy or too involved in the computer to care about things like this, once we had the talk that was it, but he has a lot of male friends, that I'm sure helps in this situation. Whereas my Andrew dosen't have any real close male friends and a few female friends (which is freaking me out) so maybe dosen't know what the heck is going on.
Oh Gosh, I worked myself into a frenzy over this haven't I!!!!!!!.
Any advise greatfully recieved.:)
Cheers
Debby crashtestwoman

[Barbara]

That's a tricky one Debby. I haven't quite gotten to that stage yet with my boys. Perhaps someone with an older son may be able to help you out more. I suppose the only thing I can suggest is that you ask him if there is anything wrong as there could be something wrong and he could be feeling too embarassed about it to say. Either that, or the glass in the shower was playing tricks on your boyfriend. I hope everything is okay.

[Wendy]

Definitely tricky, but maybe your boyfriend can somehow bring up the subject with him without being direct about it. Maybe a guy to guy discussion about size etc. I have 2 grown sons but that has never been an issue as we were all fairly open but teenagers can be very embarassed about direct discussions about their private parts. Good Luck with this!

[Jewly]

Hi Debby,

My son is 13 y.o. and he too has been very private about things for the last 12 months, but about 6 months ago he approached me one afternoon and we started to talk about the birds and the bees. I was totally unprepared because I didn't think I would be needing to talk to him about that for a little while but I just answered his questions. We didn't get into the nitty gitty of things, but I did go out and buy him a great book called The Puberty Book and he really enjoyed reading that.

Maybe you could get your son a book on the subject and maybe it might either aleviate any fears he might have or it might open up the lines of communication.

On a lighter note, he might see it as a problem now, but my bet is, he won't find it a problem in years to come. ;)

[Naomi]

Maybe your DP can take your DS shopping for underwear ... that way DS can choose what he wants and it may well help facilitate conversation between them so if it is bothering DS, DP can at least reassure him or answer his questions.

[Denise]

Debby maybe you could get your elder son to have a talk with him or take him shopping. I know when I was a teenager I always felt more comfortable talking to my elder sister who was five years older than my mum.

[crashtestwoman]

THANKS EVERYONE :hug:
I have decided to A: Calm down about it all!!!!!
B: take everyones advise and
C:Have a good long cuppa and think and look on the funny side of things, really things could be so much worse couldn't they.:D
Cheers for now
Debby