Updating!

[miss kiki]

i haven't written in awhile on what's new and what's going on in my life right now, so i thought i would. and i'll try to not write so much and make this as painless as possible for you ladies! :hehe: actually it is pretty long, so sit back with a cup of tea and make yourselves comfortable! SORRY!!

everything has been great with my DF and the kids. we're really growing together and i can't remember the last time we really got mad and fought with one another. of course there's little problems with the kids, but nothing too major.

on the other hand, my family is just all over the place. my dad got in an arguement with the head boss's nephew a few weeks ago and he quit his job. mind you, his job pays for the apartment, car, cable, his cell phone, etc. so he's done working the end of the month and he has till december to move out. they're looking for a 2 bedroom apartment-one for my SIL and brother and one for my sister. my dad will be sleeping on the couch in the living room. not too happy about that, but they have to make it work somehow.

my dad wants to sell my mom's house, since he pays for the mortgage each month and my mom isn't able to pay for it since she doesn't make that much. since i live out of the house and my sister and brother are with my dad, it's time to sell the house and have my mom live wherever. she has no clue where she's going to go and is in no rush to leave..but i also don't think it's fair for my dad to have to keep paying for the mortgage after 10 years and also having my mom live with someone else in my dad's house. i feel like once the house is sold, everyone will be torn apart. my mom said she might be moving to florida, everything is so much less expensive there, and it will kill me if she'll move that far away.

my dad is planning on moving back to croatia once his house is built. my SIL and brother are planning on having the baby here and will be moving in with my dad in croatia once the baby is a few years old. so that will be really hard for me once my mom moves away, and then my dad, then my SIL and brother. hopefully my sister will still be around!

my sister and my SIL are NOT getting along lately. my SIL likes to tell my sister's business to her family along with my grandmother. how can you go to our grandmother and talk crap and think that we're not going to find out?! thankfully, nothing is said about me, but my sister and SIL got into a fight about it and my sister said that she can't trust my SIL and things will change. my SIL feels bad that they aren't as close as they once were and now her being pregnant, she needs my sister to be there for her. she's getting depressed and all with all those hormones! my sister feels like she's left out, since my dad puts all his attention towards my SIL and brother..of course, they will always be his favorite! so she just goes in her room all day or she goes out with friends. she feels like the only reason my dad is still here and not moving to croatia anytime soon is because she doesn't take life too seriously..she goes out, spends all her money, is in debt, loves to drink, loves to party, etc. she feels that she's not responsible where i'm already out on my own and my brother is already married with a baby on the way. she got a job and started yesterday, so that's a start. she knows she needs to get her life on track and save money, so when everyone moves back to croatia, she'll be financially stable. she also hates the fact that my brother and SIL feed off of my dad for money..they'll always live with my dad, when i feel like i wouldn't be able to do that-where's the privacy?! especially for my SIL..i don't like that, but to each their own. they don't offer to pay for anything and my sister feels like she has the right to ask my dad for money, since she just started to work and all and then my SIL would go and tell my grandmother how much my sister asked my dad for..so freakin' stupid! i RARELY ever asked my parents for money and i feel like i never needed to when i started working at 15. it was my job to save money for spending money on fun and whatnot. and i know when i really need it my parents will give it to me, but i never got to that point and hopefully never will be. my mom also wants me to try to include my SIL as often as possible and i'm always constantly nice to her. i can't judge her, she hasn't done anything bad to me. my mom also told me that everyone needs a little kiki in their life, so try to make things better..oh jeez! i haven't told my family much about my private life, only because i know how my family gossips and all. so i stopped doing that and my family sees how happy i am and how it's working out with me and my DF. after all, things have been great anyway, but at times you just need to bite your tongue and not keep talking!

on the other hand, i've been getting alot of compliments lately from my family. when my DF drove me to my dads, my dad and brother said what a good guy he is and all after he left. my DF was so close to asking my dad permission to have my hand in marriage, but then we were interrupted! maybe this upcoming weekend, we'll see. after my mom telling my grandmother that she's so proud of me, and my sister telling me i'm more responsible than any of us kids is really making me feel good. i just wish everything turns out alright for my family and i feel like once we sell my mom's house, our whole family is going to be torn apart, going there seperate ways..now that i live on my own, i'm scared, because i won't have anyone so close to me and that's going to be a tough time for me to deal with.

so i think i covered everything..sorry, so much has happened and i needed to just get it all out. :waves:

[Kekka]

Goodness Miss Kiki - that's a lot of things going on, much of it entwined.

You've done me in....my eyes were sleepy, now I've started to see double after trying to get through your post. I need sleep. (Apologies Miss Kiki I'll read it another time.)

PS - I hope that you are able to touch type! Goodnight.

[miss kiki]

sorry kekka! i know, too much has been going on and i just needed to let it all out. i guess i waited too long to post everything that's been going on, but one thing happened right after another, so i think it was time to write it! and i'm a pretty fast typer, lol. DF even asked me what this book was called, i didn't answer him! :hehe: good night!

[Kekka]

Ciao Kiki....logging off now. :sleep:

[kezabelle]

Sounds busy Christina! :) It's funny how it always comes in waves. You're dad is amazing to still be paying the mortgage - especially as your mum has a new partner - is the partner not able to make mortgage repayments given he's living there? Somehow it will all work out for the best, and the good thing is that at least you are sorted!

[Mad Old Cow]

was thinking the same thing Kez about the BF is he living there rent free kiki?
Anyway Kiki i know it's all very scarey for you thinking your family are all going their seperate ways but, that happens all the time in families as we get older we move on, just look at Kezzabelle & Kimba they don't live close but they are close ( IYKWIM ) i think the main thing is you stay focused on your own life, just because they are moving away does'nt mean you won't see them it just means you are letting go of them as a little girl & you are growing up & moving forward. all will be good in your life Kiki so just take a deep breath & let go

[Cherie]

Christina, Gosh so much happening..Listen to what the girls have to say, a lot of us are ..well.. a lot older,:D and have experienced similar things. What Di says is right, and everyone here will give you support.
I also think your dad is amazing to do what he has been doing.
You might think things are falling down around you, but you know I have found, out of something which we often think is just terrible, something good happens. I know this, as it has happened like that for me many times.
You will become even stronger, and you will grow as a person too. :hug: Keep up the good work..:D

[kimba]

Your right Di!!Kez and I live over 10 hours drive away from each other but are still close:)When she first moved I thought my heart would break but it probably made our relationship stronger as I actually appreciate the times more when we do see each other(which is not often). Things have a way of working out.
I don't think your dad should be paying the mortgage(he has to be able to get on with his own life)and u never know maybe this will be better for the whole family:yes:Your dad sounds as tho the rest of your family(not u) mooch his money:yes:He's still supporting your mum(and her partner:yes:), your bro and SIL and your sis.He prob wants to go back to Croatia to have a break:yes:
I am sure it will be hard at first but I think it may suprise u how much stronger your relationship with your family may become.:hug:for u Kiki.

[Stormy]

Christina, you have to give me credit this time - I got about halfway through before I started skim reading. :hehe:

Anyway, a few thoughts I had. I think that seeing your mum has a new partner, they should take on the mortgage. The whole situation just reminds me of my uncle (he was divorced and then married my aunty).....they have been paying child support for 32 years - yes 32 years because they never did anything about it to get it shut down after the child turned 18. In the meantime, that child has had babies of his own and as far as I'm concerned is well and truly capable of standing on his own two feet. :yes: I can understand your dad paying the mortgage after she was newly divorced but she has a partner now and I gather she has had time to get her stuff together in terms of finances - why should he continue paying for the both of them?? I sure wouldn't. :)

And in all honesty, time and distance doesn't affect the relationship you have with your siblings and family. I live 8hrs away from my mum, aunt and uncle in Rocky, my closest cousins live in 8hrs away in Newcastle. My sister is only half an hour away at the moment but she is planning to move to America in a few years to live and work. I'm ok with that because she is still young like I am and I would like her to be happy. If she feels she can't be happy in Australia doing the same job she would do in America (for the same amount of pay once you take into account America's crap health system), then so be it. :yes:

Even if your family moves to the other side of the continent or to another country, you won't lose them from your life. It just means when you want to visit them, you get to have a bit of a holiday overseas or interstate and you have free accommodation and only have to worry about the flight cost. :D

[miss kiki]

keza-he is a very amazing person..don't get me wrong, so is my mother. i look up to both of them so much and all the things they had to deal with throughout their lives. he is able to, actually he's laid off right now..BUT they are able to together..my dad was supposed to pay until i turned 18 and stop, but because my brother was back and forth at my mom's and because i stilled lived there, he felt the need to still pay. now he has no reason to..for the past year actually! that's at least over $10,000 that he paid for the past year and really didn't have to, since i moved out a year ago. i'm sure it will work out for the best. i just hope i don't lose contact with all my family and this christmas will be the last one in that house, which i lived in for 15 years, so it's going to be weird not being able to go there and see my mom. hopefully she'll stay close, along with my sister.

MOC-yes, he is! you definitely have a good point..i totally agree. i just wish i was young again and always be surrounded by family, LOL. i know it's time to do what we all have to do, but it'll just be weird not talking to my dad all the time like i do now..it's hard enough that i don't see him as much as i want to..i only see him when i go there for work, but if i can go there more often i would..my DF hates driving to new york and i don't blame him..traffic and the drive is horrible, but i wish i had a car so i can see him anytime i want. and when he leaves i know i won't be able to.

cherie-i know you all will give me the support..i'm just so glad i found all of you, even though we have had our disagreements in the past! :hehe: but i feel so at home on here and i know i can speak about anything and just let everything out when i need to. i'm sure everything will come together in time.

kimba-i'm happy that you and your sis are still super close. me and my sister just started becomming close this past year, which i'm so grateful for. we're totally different, but this past year we've been there for one another so much and that's great. that's why he wants to sell the house, because he's tired of paying, and he wants that money to put it towards his house in croatia, which will start building in the spring of next year. i honestly think he deserves a break..a very long one..and to start thinking about himself and start living his life as a retired man. i'm so happy that he's building a house and finally doing something he wants to do.

stormy-haha, i don't blame you for skim reading at all! :hehe: sorry! i don't think they'd be able to afford it, considering if they did, then they'd have to buy my dad out, which is tons of money that they don't have..so they are forced to move. my dad and mom are planning on splitting the money of the house once it's sold. my dad is that type of person. he's very financially stable..get's LOTS of money a year and wouldn't want to just kick my mom out if i should say that..so now is the time and he gave them a year, which is so kind of him to do. my dad didn't pay child support, he paid the mortgage and up until i turned 17 or 18 he gave my mom $200 every two weeks for food. the child support didn't come close to what my mom would have to pay for mortgage, so they agreed on that when they became divorced. he was more than generous IMO. where is your sister planning on moving to? tell her to move to new jersey and then you can always come visit!! :hehe:

thanks girls! you definitely made me feel heaps better! :D

[Stormy]

Christina she has good friends in Cincinatti so I imagine if she did make the move it would be pretty close to where they live. :yes: But I don't know whether she will actually go or not...depends what happens with her work here and all that. Also she has a house here and two cats - houses can be sold but the cats would be lost without her. I would be happy to take Max (moggie) but Smokey doesn't really like anyone other than her. When she was on hols in America for two months, she pined so badly and refused to eat so she would not be easy to rehome with family or friends. :dk:

Glad you feel better now :D

[miss kiki]

i see. well, if my dog lucky can be shipped to croatia where he is now living, then i'm sure she can do the same with the cats. my dog hardly recognized me when i went there last year, so sad! he's a farm dog now! it's too funny! but i hope it works out for her and definitely let me know if she does plan on moving here in the future.

thanks tons! :)

[sandydee]

oh boy glad you are feeling better Kiki:hehe:
Agree it is amazing that your Dad still does as much as he does:yes:he needs a life now.Dont worry about distance my family is spread all around the country:yes:sometimes thats a good thing:hehe:all will work out you will see:)

[Cherie]

KikiI know you all will give me the support..i'm just so glad i found all of you, even though we have had our disagreements in the past!
Yes, well .. you will be an honourary Aussie in no time.:P

[Rachel]

Well apart from your family everything seems to be going really well for you, which is great! How sweet for your mum to say that everyone needs a little kiki in their lives- that must have made you feel great! I am sure that you will adapt if your family moves away, but I am sure that doesn't stop you from dreading the moment it may happen :) I hope that your sister stays close by for you- so you will have each other!

[miss kiki]

thanks sandydee!

haha cherie! i'm looking foward to that!

rachel, i loved the fact that my mom said that. i told her how happy i was to just focus on my life and not be in that inner circle where all the family problems are ! i just keep my mouth shut now and do what i need to do in my life..and once i started doing that, i've been getting compliments left and right from my family. which is great. i hope she'll stay close also.

[Mad Old Cow]

kiki, does your dad come to visit you at all? i noticed you said you only see him when you go to work

[miss kiki]

no, he doesn't. he hates driving back and forth. of course he did when my parents just got divorced..he came by every wednesday and we went out to eat. then that stopped once high school began..we had our friends, work, etc. we were supposed to go by him every other weekend, but that didn't last very long either. he'll come if he really has to, but that's about it.

[lisa2]

May I suggest that whats going on in your life is 'just life' nothing too bad going on there!:brow:
You have to understand that many of us know what you are going through and as we are somewhat older than you..see your 'challenges' as simply stepping stones towards your future. I know Ive said it before but you are very young, and what seems overwhelming to you, is really not that paramount...to us...maybe.:hehe:
Im not for a moment, trivialising your situation, as I know to you, its confusing, but maybe you could relax a bit and go with the flow..if I told you some of my 'challenges' and experiences, it would make your hair curl!!
You are fine, just try to focus on your immediate family and let the others get their act together, 'so to speak':waves: Best wishes...:yes:

[miss kiki]

thanks lisa! my mom's leaving to go to croatia tomorrow to visit my grandmother..she needs a break and is stressed with the whole selling the house and whatnot, so hopefully she'll come back and be refreshed! i'm happy for all of them though, so it's weird that i'm a bit upset..i guess because everyone will be moving away and the fact that if they do that that means i'm getting older! LOL. it needs to be done though and i wish the best for my family no matter what.

[mummy1987]

wow thats heaps hun. sounds like everythins goin well for u though (marriage?) i hope your sis sorts herself out soon and im sure this job she has will help with that so goodluck to her!

[miss kiki]

thanks tiff. UGH! this past weekend was a nightmare. instead of posting in another thread, i'll just write it in here, since it's mostly updating anyway..
my dad's last day of work was friday. him and a bunch of his co-workers went out to eat and supposedly they all had a great time, tears were shed, and my dad came home with some gifts. they also all put in money to give to my dad for him to buy a plane ticket for croatia, which is so incredibly thoughtful! not sure how much he got, plus it's non of my business anyway..all i know is that one guy gave him $1000! i guess my dad really impacted a lot of people..as most of you already know, he is a great person, and would do anything for anyone.
friday my sister worked, so my SIL and i worked with my cousin..he's from new york also and is 19. he's in his phase of life where he goes out parties, sleeps with girls left and right. he got off the phone with a friend and asked me what i thought of his converstaion with his friend-which was about him sleeping with this girl the night before or something. i just simply gave him advice. to be careful, blah blah blah. that he should find out what he wants to do with the rest of his life, because he doesn't know what he wants to do and he's always out partying, how his dad wants him to sleep with all these girls, etc. i didn't judge him at all mind you..i just gave him advice and he took it so bad that he said, "well, look at you. you're 21 years old and your cleaning windows!" i clean for the company my dad has been working for for 24 years for some money that i can give to my DF..which hasn't been working lately..and mostly i give him money for food. so what the hell?! i was so pissed! my SIL went along with me, not very loudly though, that way my cousin didn't hear me.
so my sister gets home and asks me why we got in an arguement. we didn't! and then she told me that my SIL was winking to my cousin like just forget about what i was saying. talk about two faced..seriously!
so then my sister has plans friday night to go out to this croatian bar with a few friends dressed up in halloween costumes. i was helping them get ready-did their hair curly and everything and they wanted me to go out with them. so i thought why not..my cousin showed up there with his little sister, and he didn't even say hi to me..NOTHING. UGH! and i pretty much stood around. saw people that i haven't seen in like 3 years, etc. one of the guys that i haven't seen in years asked about my fiancee, his kids, etc. i didn't like the fact that my sister told him all this stuff about me, but then again i don't really care because it's not like i have anything to hide. i got myself a drink and only had one when i was out. i was pretty much sitting on the side, talking to people a bit, and that's pretty much it. i was so tired and i felt like a total outcast. my sister knows all these people, she's a very party person, and i felt like i didn't belong. i just wanted to go back to my dads, plus i was so tired. my sister said that we can leave whenever, but i didn't want her to have to leave her friends and all. LUCKILY, my mom's cousin showed up at the bar and i asked him if he can bring me home and he did, which was nice. i got home around 1:30 in the morning.
then this morning i ask my sister where my money was from last night, since her friend had my I.D. and my money. 20 bucks was missing and i know it doesn't cost that much for a drink! she said she used that because she didn't have anymore money and needed to take a cab home. that's fine, but next time she should bring out enough money if she knows or thinks she's not going to have enough, especially take it from me and not ask me. fine, i wasn't around, but still..i only have one job which i don't get paid much and she just started her career, so yeah, i should be a bit ticked IMO. then she called me stingy, when she's the one that constantly asks my dad for money!! WTF?! and then she said that it wasn't even my money, it was from the $100 my dad gave me, because he knows that my DF hasn't been working and we've been somewhat short, so he gave me that money and i told my sister about it. i tried giving it back, but he said no and absolutely refused..she said it in front of my SIL and brother and i don't think that was any of their business and i said that to her and she said, it's not like daddy doesn't pay for their crap. i seriously wanted to slap her. i've had enough for this past weekend. hopefully tonight and tomorrow will be better. i felt like total crap all day. i feel like even though i'm close to my family, there's always those little fights here and there which are normal, but pointless. i'm done venting.

[mummy1987]

no worries sorry to hear bout your sis but i hope u work it all out hun!

[miss kiki]

thanks tiff.

i talked to my mom today and she told me that she would have been upset too. considering that it wasn't really money to spend, unless i HAD to..and the fact that my sister is constantly partying it up. i'm not against it, believe me! BUT sometimes it's too much and for her to say i was being stingy wasn't right..when all she does is mooch off of my dad's money and i NEVER do. but whatever..we put it on the side and it seemed like everything went alright when we got home from work..we ate, did the pumpkin carving, and whatnot, so i guess it's fine now..hopefully! just needed to vent and sorry it's so long! :hehe:

[mel76]

You should think yourself lucky you may have these little problems with your family but mine is a lot worse, trust me.....
Chin Up, Smile & look at your husband to be & those gorgeous kids, their the ones who will support you & love you when your family isn't near, well actually their there now. go give your hubby to be a big hug & enjoy your family.....

Mel:)

[miss kiki]

you're so sweet mel and you put a smile on my face. i know i should be grateful, because there's so many others out there that have it tons worse than i do. i'll give him a hug right now! it felt so good to come home and vent to him on what was happening there..and my grandmother calls them my little family also! :hehe:

[dragonfly97]

i agree with the ladies kiki and good luck i hope everything works out for you keep us posted

[miss kiki]

thank you dragonfly! :)