Single And Confused .. Is This Normal?

[Hot Alpha Female]

Hi Alpha Women,
I know many of you have kids already and are married and living very happy lives. So i thought maybe i could get a little advice from you .. if you can remember back when you were trying to find mr right. Mr "father of your child" Mr "husband" whatever you may call him =) just wondering if any of you were like fustrated with the whole dating process, rather like i am right now?! hahahah I mean right now im still pretty young. Im like 20. So should my aim be to go out and have fun and think about meeting the right guy later. Or like be looking for him RIGHT now. I mean in terms of career and life outcome i know what i want. But with guys sometimes its just down plain confusing. I mean there are a lot of people who are interested, but none of them really feel right. Im only 20 and im already thinking .. "man dating really should be that hard" it really shouldnt be as much effort as it is taking!!! hhaha. So jsut wondering if you guys have any advice to offer me. Would be much appreciated =)

Hot Alpha Female

[kimba]

All I can say is"Stop looking":yes:I actually was not looking for my other half:DHe moved in next door and as they say the rest is history.I would say just enjoy yourself and dont waste your life waitng for Mr Right.He will turn up when hes meant to:D

[miss kiki]

kimba is so right.
i'm 21 and already am engaged and taking care of my fiancee's two kids. they're mother is pretty much history and they haven't spoken to her since june.
in 2006 i met my DF (darling fiancee) and i was dating him along with other guys..it was an on and off thing for me. i also didn't know what i wanted-just got out of a bad relationship and wasn't 100% ready to be in a relationship and wanted to get to know these guys instead of jumping to the gun if you know what i mean..DF and i became the bestest friends. he really needed a friend, just got his kids back, etc. and i was going through alot also. after hanging out with these other guys i'd always run back to DF's place..pretending that i lived there. it got really bad! i'd just come over and start cleaning and he'd come home from work surprised..i loved it. he gave me a key like two months later! lol. anyway, FINALLY after becoming pregnant and feeling so depressed living at home and all, i just woke up and realized that my mr. right was my best friend..standing in front of me this whole time and knowing that i was so blind to see it. :) it all finally clicked. i had an abortion and through it all, my DF was there to console me and tell me everything was ok. he was my rock. never gave up on me and still doesn't. :) i couldn't ask for anything better. i think it's when you really are confused and stop looking that the right one comes along. i always ask myself how do you know if he's the right one? but it's just this feeling you get and you know..a feeling you will only experience with that one person. :D you're still young and yeah, i'm in school, haven't even started my career yet. being with him doesn't mean that i have to put my education and career on the side..i'm doing that first and we know that my education comes first before we even plan on getting married! we don't have a set date for nothing and even though i'm so eager and excited, i know that i'm graduating in about 25 days and i need to finish that stage of my life before i do anything else. it'll all come together, believe me. i know us young ones can't wait to get married, be with our dream guy, etc. but the time will come. :) i hope that helps and you understand what i mean, since we're close in age. :D

[Mad Old Cow]

i don't like to see girls your age rushing into anything permanent, just have fun you are only 20 there is plenty of time for marriage & kids & as the girls have said Mr Right will come along when you least expect him to

[Alexa]

Stop looking, work, travel and enjoy life, spend time with your family, have a goal in life and work towards that?

I was married at 23 and divorced by 31 and I have done more with my life in the last 3 years that I did the whole time I was with this so called Mr Right, don't get me wrong, men are wonderful creatures and I am not a bitter or twisted women who hate men, I work with men, have men friends and go on dates with men, but unless you are comfortable with yourself you will never find Mr Right and as the other ladies have said, sometimes they turn up in the most unlikely places...

Enjoy your time being single, you have tonns of time to find Mr Right, get married and have kids and the white picket fence. Don't wish your life away, time already goes way too fast as it is.

[mel35]

I totally agree with the others here, you have to go and do the things you want to do, stop looking for Mr Right and just enjoy your life and when the time is right he will come into your life.:)
The night I met my hubby at a NYE party he told me he was going to marry me, I laughed at him and thought I would never see him again anyway, but he was very persistent and we've now been together for 15 years, we sometimes talk about that night and he just said "he knew" I was the girl he was going to marry.

[Stormy]

Stop looking and he will find you. :)

[Patricia]

I agree with the girls...Mr Right WILL turn up when you least expect him to, until then go out and enjoy yourself with "Mr Right Now' :D

[susiq]

I agree with Patric - enjoy yourself with Mr Right Now!

You are only 20 with so much of you life still in front of you. Enjoy yourself, travel, have a good time and don't worry as Mr Right will turn up when you least expect it.

There is so much to enjoy when you are single without anyone else to worry about. Make sure you are really happy with youself and not just needing/wanting someone else to make you content. Only you can do that!

Saying all that, the dating game does suck at times and it's OK to boycott it all for a while!

[Kekka]

What's the rush Hot Alpha Female?

Just live - embrace life - and remember, everything happens for a reason.

PS - Get to my age, have not used your ovaries...and then worry!!! :D (Excuse crassness....I have poor social skills! :hehe:)

[sandydee]

:yes:agree with the others ....enjoy your life ,travel etc.there is no rush ..gosh you are only 20!life goes sooo bloddy quick enough dont wish it away:yes:you will meet Mr Right when the time is right!:hehe:

[Heather]

Que Sera

[dragonfly97]

i am sorry no advice here i got married to my highschool sweetheart at the age of 18 going on 19 and we have been married 10 years will be eleven in July so i am a lucky one so good luck have fun you will find mr. right when you are meant to

[~FutureMrs.K~]

He will be the one that you least expect, that how it was for me any ways.... he was always the friend that I would run to always platonic but then something happened one day, and now he is the love of my life. it was kinda like how it is in the movies, but just gve it time.....

[miss kiki]

that's exactly how it was for me. :D

[Hot Alpha Female]

Hi Gals,
Thanks for all your advice. After reading the comments the general gist of it is .. calm down and stop looking! haha Simple but i cant believe that i forgot to do that. I survived 16 years being single and i sure know that im not going to have to wait that long to find someone else again. Dont get me wrong there are people that im dating, i was just getting impatient and thinking to myself, when is the really "good" guy going to come along. So thanks girls for reminding me to enjoy the moment!!

Hot Alpha Female:)

[Arial]

Hi HAF :)

I totally agree with all the above advice that has been given to you ! :)

In my 20's i was busy working and earning money, spending it hehe, seeing guys on and off when it mostly suited 'me' and partying with my girlfriends !

I didn't even meet the man i am married to until about 6 years ago..

I only got married in 2004, at the age of 38 !!!! (him 37)

So yeah don't stress too much about it... it happens when it happens, and in the meatime enjoy life !!!
( there's times i still miss my single and independent days, even at my age now ! LOL)

ps... If i had never met 'Mr right', i would have still loved my life just as much as a single person.... meeting someone special was just a bonus ! :)

[kgg]

You will find your Mr Right when you stop looking for him. It is always the way I reckon. I was getting down that I hadn't found myself a nice boy to hang out with, as soon as I got it in my head to stop worrying about it and to get out there with my girlfriends and have a good time - bang! Found him! We have now been married a year.

I think you need to just follow where life takes you and not worry about it. If you are meant to find a partner, he will come along when you lease expect it.

[Michelle]

I agree...stop looking!!!

I also met my now DH of 4years just out of the blue. I actually really was not looking to date anyone at the time and he came along and changed my mind after about a year LOL

Good Luck with your 'not looking' journey!! he will turn up...just live your life and enjoy as usual :D

[floras69]

I was in a 6 year relationship from 2001 to April last year. It was a mutual decision to end it. We just weren't happy together. I have to admit sometimes I miss the togetherness and closenes of being in a relationship. Having someone to share your ups and downs with. I do want that again very much, but I think this is the time for me to be single. To get to know myself, by myself. I think you lose part of yourself in a relationship especially a long time one. I'm sure it isn't like that for everyone, but that's how it was for me. I'm reclaiming my life and you know what it feels great. I know there's just the right guy out there for me, but he'll just have to wait for me. hehe!!

Flora

You're only 20 girl!! Live your life. Enjoy yourself and when the time is right it will happen for you. Don't rush it. God knows time goes by so quickly as it is.

I'm knocking on the door of 40 and I'm single. Didn't think I would be at this stage of my life, but that's how the cookie crumbles as they say.

Flora

[Rachel]

I agree.. stop looking! Enjoy being 20 :) I have never been single for more than a few months and my friends and I when we were younger were always worried about finding Mr Right.. I have now been with mr right for nearly 9 years (since I was 20) we have a daughter and while I love our life I love my time with my girlfriends and wish I had enjoyed more time when I was young to just have fun with the girls :)

[PreSchool Mama]

Everybody on this thread has given you the right advice - there's no hurry.

When you're around women who have the whole domesticity thing going on, (ummm... like at these forums:)) it's normal to feel like you'd like some of the same. But at 20, you're way too young. I got married at 25, and had my son at 28.

[miss kiki]

i agree with what you said on the domesticity thing..
the reason i joined was because things moved really fast with my DF and i and i had to play a HUGE role in his kids' lives and i had no clue what the hell i was doing at first! thankfully these ladies were my support in the beginning and now things are just getting easier. :)