Can You Be Friends With Someone You Like?!!!!!

[Hot Alpha Female]

Hello ladies,

So I have a problem and im just going to word vomit it all out and hopefully it makes sense. I kinda just want your opinion as to whether I did the right thing with something. Had this guy, went on a couple of dates with him and we were pretty close. After the date where we had a really great time and kissed me and then started acting up. As in not calling as much and kinda being distant. So I was like fighting this little inner voice inside my head that was telling me something was up. After a couple of weeks of being fustrated because he was only calling once a week if that, I kinda figured that I don’t need to waste my time on people like this. So I started like ignoring his msgs, wouldn’t return calls or pick them up for that matter. When I started doing that he like could not stop calling me. Within the first couple of days that I started doing this he called me and msged me like everyday since then. I felt bad not picking up all the time so I did eventually pick up one of his calls (it was nice getting more attention). Neways after a couple of calls he gathered that I was annoyed at him for some reason and I explained the situation that I liked him, but didn’t really think that he was interested. He then went on to say that its wasn’t the right timing for him, but he wanted to cont to be friends and hang out because he enjoyed my company (by the way this is sounding more and more ridiculous as I see myself writing this).

I mean what kinda of crap response is that. So basically I told him that the people that I choose to date and the people that I have as my friends are two completely different groups. Which is true for me. So basically in less harsh words, I said that I didn’t really want to be friends either. When I told him that I was basically breaking up the friendship he kinda got a little upset. He said that I meant a lot to him, that even though he had only known me for a short while that I was important to him .. and blah blah it was a really nice speech. So we left that convo and he said look if you want to change your mind call me...

So my dilemma is ... am I doing the right thing by walking away from him completely. Or should I be friends with him and have this false sense of hope. I mean the reason I didn’t want to be friends with him, is because I know I like him so much... and I dunno, I guess I would find that really hard. I figured that I may have more of a chance with him when I get to know him better. N then I think... What makes him so dam special neways? Like how do I know that I want to date him, he might not even be good enough for me.

Or did I make the right choice my cutting off the contact. I did this because I figured that I know what I deserve. I deserve someone who wants to be with me ... Don’t get me wrong I have a lot to give somebody ... if they are someone worthy of receiving it. Also this way by cutting the contact, he can prove to me whether or not he is really interested. If he does contact me, great, maybe we can work something out. If he doesn’t, well then he wasn’t worth my time in the first place.

Regardless of if I made the right decision of not, I feel like absolute crap! Hopefully ill get over it in a couple of days. LoL I have a date tomorrow with someone else, so hopefully that will take my mind of it.

Let me know what you think gals

Hot Alpha Female:x

[Cherie]

Is this person on your blog page? Just wondering, :D

[Hot Alpha Female]

Hahah yeh i know right? I have my moments of weaknesses :P sometimes takes me a couple of hours to snap outta it

[Cherie]

Was just thinking you would have a mans point of view as well, on the blog. Sometimes it doesn't hurt to let them know how we think. Hope I am not being vague.:hehe:

[Heather]

Surely it would depend on you....are you happy to date someone without any liklihood of the relationship growing....or are you contemplating it in the hope that it would?
Too confusing.....and I'm too old.

[miss kiki]

can't really tell you what you did was right or wrong..
i went on a date or two with my DF..and yes, i did kiss him and then tell him i didn't want a relationship..but kissing was TOTALLY fine with me, even though i told him that..now i know that's not right, but come on! LOL. at the end i realized that i was falling for him that whole time and in the beginning all i wanted was friendship.
he may have a change of heart and realize he does like you too. but if he's not ready i wouldn't push it. my DF didn't and he constantly told me i was going to fall for him and i said no and brushed it off my shoulders..then a couple months later i was head over heals. :)
btw, good luck on your next date! :)

[Alexa]

Sounds to be he wants his cake and to be able to eat it too!!! He wants you as a friend with benefits in a nut-shell, he doesn't want a relationship, but he wants to be able to kiss you and maybe go further...I guess at the end of the day it comes down to your standards and morals and how much you want this man in your life and at what level, just an acquaintance, as friend (with no real physical contact) or more...I think you too want more as well? Am I right?

Why can't he be in a normal relationship with you? Has he just broken up with someone; he is seeing someone, if so stay away completely????

I would go with my head and not my heart but that is so I could protect my heart...good luck with what you decide.

[Hot Alpha Female]

can't really tell you what you did was right or wrong..
i went on a date or two with my DF..and yes, i did kiss him and then tell him i didn't want a relationship..but kissing was TOTALLY fine with me, even though i told him that..now i know that's not right, but come on! LOL. at the end i realized that i was falling for him that whole time and in the beginning all i wanted was friendship.
he may have a change of heart and realize he does like you too. but if he's not ready i wouldn't push it. my DF didn't and he constantly told me i was going to fall for him and i said no and brushed it off my shoulders..then a couple months later i was head over heals. :)
btw, good luck on your next date! :)

Hi miss kiki,

Thanks so much for your wonderful input, i really appreciate it :) just wanted to let you know that in the space the time between posting that thread and today i had an epiphany. Which actually happened on sunday. you know i didnt even realise that i had been pushing anything until then. Like i dont even know what i was asking for. was i asking for commitment? because had this guy called me 2moro and ask me to be his girlfriend or whatever my answer would have been no. So what i actually realised is at this current point in time i dont need or have to look for a boyfreind. As we know looking always ends up being a pointless exercise because you are in the wrong frame of mind. But i mean on sunday i went on that date and had a great time. The after that date i went out with one of my bestfriends who happens to be a guy and we had a fantastic time!

Its a beautiful thing to be able to have someone that you are complelty comfortable with, who already knows you like the back of your hand, who can you can go out with and know that is always going to be a good time. So while we were in manly at this gorgeous resturant and chatting we both disovered something about eachother. I mean both of us get to gether and discuss all our escapades with the opposite sex and attempting to find a boyfreind/girlfreind. N after that lunch we both kind of realised that we both like it how it is, being single being able to date who it is that we want, being able to have a wide selection of choice from so many people, being able to appreciate diff people for diff attributes without having to out that pressure on them to be the perfect person because you want to date them.

I kind of began to realise that hey you can be freinds with someone first and really get to know them and then possibly a relationship can develop from that. I mean this bestfriend when we first met he really really really liked me. N i had to fight him off a bit at the begining and i was always upfront with him that i just wanted to be freinds. Now if after i said that .. he said to me that he didnt want to be friends anymore ... much like im doing to this other guy ... he me and my bestfriend would have no discover such a wonderful freindship that enriches both of our lives.

So what i have decided is that i will be friends with this guy. But not for the hope that one day he will like me or anything. Ive pretty much given up on that and will focus my attentions elsewhere. But more for that fact that we probably have more to offer eachother as freinds. Plus its kind of like a personal growth thing for me, because i have always had my own rule that the people you date and the people that are your friends are two separate groups. I can no longer stand by that rule. Bring on all the guy friends i say!! hahah

Cheers

Hot Alpha Female:P

[ANGEL35]

If you really like him and want a relationship with this guy, don't have any contact with him because you shouldn't live in false hope. He's only playing you, and you don't want a guy like that. You will end up getting hurt staying friends with someone you are strongly attracted to.
You want a guy who makes you happy and cares about you, so don't waste your time on a Loser that makes you feel upset and has the hide to tell you to call him if you want to be friends, on his terms.

You seem like a nice person who wants a good relationship with a nice guy that will treat you well and respect you. So be strong and confident and don't settle for anything less than your standards of how you want a guy to treat you. Always trust your gut feeling, because it's usually right.

I believe in Destiny, and that if you are a genuinely nice person you will find the right person some day and end up very happy. Don't ever stay in a relationship with someone that plays mind-games with your emotions, puts you down or treats you disrespectfully when you don't deserve it.

[miss kiki]

i honestly don't think my input was that great, but i'm glad that you appreciate it! :D
good on you for knowing what you want. i'm so happy to hear that!
it's really tough-i was in the same boat about a year and a half ago now. i didn't know what i wanted and i got myself into lots of trouble because of that! my DF was there for me during that whole time period..even when i came to him one day thinking i was pregnant and i ended up being so. he was my rock and i never went for one of my guy friends..but there was just something about him. i felt so safe around him and i knew that he wouldn't want to see me hurt-he'd just want the best for me. so now i'm here after over a year i've been living with him and have been being a little mommy to his two kids, who i absolutely adore and love to pieces. things honestly happen for a reason. all those times when people said he wasn't good enough for me or i can do better, i looked behind that and i knew that things would only get better and it has. :)
ok..enough about me. just really happy for you and i tend to ramble on when i'm happy. :D

[Patricia]

If you really like him and want a relationship with this guy, don't have any contact with him because you shouldn't live in false hope. He's only playing you, and you don't want a guy like that. You will end up getting hurt staying friends with someone you are strongly attracted to.
You want a guy who makes you happy and cares about you, so don't waste your time on a Loser that makes you feel upset and has the hide to tell you to call him if you want to be friends, on his terms.

You seem like a nice person who wants a good relationship with a nice guy that will treat you well and respect you. So be strong and confident and don't settle for anything less than your standards of how you want a guy to treat you. Always trust your gut feeling, because it's usually right.

I believe in Destiny, and that if you are a genuinely nice person you will find the right person some day and end up very happy. Don't ever stay in a relationship with someone that plays mind-games with your emotions, puts you down or treats you disrespectfully when you don't deserve it.


What great advice Angel..you seem like a very sensible and mature girl ...you couldn't have said it better :D