toddler waking up at night

[zoopadoopa]

I am 12 weeks pregnant and having a difficult pregnancy. I have put it (me getting sick eg. infections etc) down to not having enough sleep at night. I have a 15 month old toddler who wakes up between 2 and 7 times a night. Sometimes he goes back to sleep on his own other times he starts crying and wont go back to sleep until i go in turn on his music and tuck him back into bed. Getting up just to do that causes me half to one hour less sleep as it takes me that long to get back to sleep. Thus causing the sleep deprevation. Does anyone have any ideas how I can get him to sleep the whole night without waking up?;)

[romana]

Hi and welcome to AFW, it's a great community! Does he take naps during the day and how often? Also, what time do you lay him down for the night? If he sleeps a lot during the day, I would cut back on that. Our bedtime is usually around 8:00 pm (I have a 3 year old). Doing some activities in the afternoon like swimming, going to the park or gymnastics wears them out. I would wait at least 5 minutes before I go into the room to see if he goes back to sleep on his own, I wouldn't turn on any lights, just tuck him back in and say good night. Is he still in diapers? How much does he drink before bedtime? I am wondering whether that might be waking him up. Also talk to your husband and see if he can tend to your son at night sometime so you can get a good night's rest. With us that would be easier said than done, my husband is a sound sleeper, he has to have 2 alarm clocks in the morning and half the time he still doesn't wake up! :)

[kezabelle]

My youngest is 19 months and was the same at that age - and I'm pregnant too :) I remember sleeping on the lounge for a few nights so I couldn't hear every whimper she made. Lucky for me, she now knows how to turn her music on herself and I often hear her put it on in the middle of the night. Maybe try having some soothing music playing on repeat during the night, and a night light if that's what he wants. It sounds like he's having trouble settling himself.

The main mistake I made was letting her fall asleep on a bottle when she was about 12 months. It's still a habit, but I have a bottle of water in bed with her at night that she gets herself when she needs it. A bit of a different age though, so probably no help at the moment.

Are you in Australia? The clinic nurses are usually very helpful and there are courses/clinics you can attend to help - they can suggest them.

[romana]

Please be careful wit the bottle at night ladies. Water is Ok, anything else may cause tooth decay. I am a dental hygienist and I've seen some bad cases.

[kezabelle]

Sorry, forgot to mention that. We don't have flouride in the water here and I have already learnt the hard way about my children's teeth! But that's another story. That's why she's on water now - she was doing it with milk and I know how bad that is, so I gradually incresed the mix of water to milk until we're down to water if anything at all.

[romana]

Fluoride is very important, especially at this stage in children's lives. There are drops that are very easy to take- just add a few to water. Would you like me to get the pharmaceutical name for you? I can look it up at work tomorrow and post it.:)

[kezabelle]

The drops are no longer available here for some reason - so I get the tablets - just didn't realise they dissolve in water! Thanks though :)

[romana]

I am not sure if the tablets dissolve, a was thinking about adding the drops to water. Sounds like you have it under control. That's good.:)

[kimba]

The fact that he is going to sleep with the music and not self settling could be the problem. Basically if u can get him to go to sleep without it u will probably find he sleeps thru. There was something on the tv about it the other noght. Where do u live?? If in NSW try Tresillian(sp?) they will help:)

[kezabelle]

The fact that he is going to sleep with the music and not self settling could be the problem. Basically if u can get him to go to sleep without it u will probably find he sleeps thru. There was something on the tv about it the other noght. Where do u live?? If in NSW try Tresillian(sp?) they will help:)

I'd heard that too Kimba :) The other option is to have some soothing music on repeat on CD.

[kimba]

I'd heard that too Kimba :) The other option is to have some soothing music on repeat on CD.

Is that a good idea tho?Then u end up with a child that needs a noise to sleep. The woman the other day had nothing- no dummy, music, night light etc and the kids were sleeping thru:yes:

[Naomi]

What is his bedtime routine like? I'd try to get him into a routine where he self settles without a sleep association - so no bottle or dummy or rocking etc as he falls asleep.

One way you can approach it is when he wakes during the night, don't go in straight away, listen to his cry and try to see if he actually needs attention or not. If his cry escalates, go in so he knows you're there, provide a little bit of comfort - stroke his face or pat his back but don't pick him up, then leave him to settle - listening to his cry to determine if he needs you but giving him a chance to self settle. (I think this is the approach Tresillian would give you - I rang them a few weeks ago and this was basically their advice).

If you are wanting to approach it without him crying, there is a book called the No Cry Sleep Solution. I don't know much about it but you could google it and find out some more information and see if that approach works best for you.

Good luck! I remember too well how exhausting early pregnancy is when you have a toddler as well, even without being awake all through the night. I hope you can get some good solid sleep really soon.

[kezabelle]

Absolutely - but how do you get that once the pattern has been set? You can let them scream all night for a few nights and they'll eventually work it out. But, I'm not going to do that and the 'new expert advice' is actually against controlled crying now too. So, yes, it would be good to establish those habits from the start, but if you haven't then it's another option. :)

[Naomi]

I used to play the radio slightly out of tune in Hugo's room constantly (he was an appalling sleeper, awake every hour or so) but he outgrew it by 18 months or so ... if playing music all night works, I'd do that. If you can achieve sleep without having to physically go in to resettle them, then do it.

I know what you are saying about setting patterns Kerrie, I actually rang them to get some tips for night weaning as Sophia was waking to feed two or three times which is fine except that she was then not feeding well during the day and her nights were getting more and more broken. She didn't actually scream at all, I went in and soothed her but didn't feed her, and she adapted really quickly and well to not having feeds (had a couple of nights recently when she did wake up again but I did the same thing and she settled really quickly once I soothed her). I know this is a different situation to the OPs but it is the advice tresillian is giving. The No Cry Sleep Solution would have been my next port of call but so far I haven't needed it thank goodness.

[kezabelle]

I had bub in a great sleeping pattern until her frist summer when we had visitors for 2 months in the house, and friends in the caravan out the front for 3 more months. Her sleep went out the window and she was waking every half hour to an hour and not settling. Drove me batty and I was exhausted from the visitors too :) That's how I think she ended up comfort feeding. Now she has her days. As I said, I'm not a fan of controlled crying so I prefer to give her a bottle of water if she does wake - which is rarely. I'd prefer to get rid of the bottles all together, but I figure it will come in time :) The important thing of course is to find what you're happy with.

[Manda]

Hi, I didnt read any replies (im short o time will read later) I have kids ages 6, 4, 14mths and 4 mths, At the mo my 14mth old is at times waking during the night (for no reason to ...IE not teething dirty bum etc) We tried alot of methods but i got that desperate in the end i tried the conteolled crying (CC)
There are many diffent "time checks" you could do, but i went with ...tuck him kiss night etc (kept it pretty short) then let him cry for 5 mins then went and checked he was ok (didnt need nbum change atc) layed him back down patted him etc (keep this to no longer 1 min) then same again after 10 mins, then agian every 15 kins thereafter.

I suggest doing a search on CC as there are many exceptions and foot notes ...ie they can learn to make themselves vomit to got attn, and that it takes a tight routine and up to 2 weeks of it before you may see any change. I was lucky Jordan steeld within a few days. (but still have occasion hiccups)

Best of luck will try and read the whole thread later, sorry just really short for time right now.

[zoopadoopa]

He does take a nap during the day - usually two naps a day - one 2 hours after he wakes up and the other around 230pm for about half to one hour. He usually goes to bed at 730pm to talk and play in his cot til 830pm and goes to sleep on his own. He doesnt seem to have any problem getting to sleep for his naps and first thing at night but it is just in the middle of the night he seems to have trouble. I tried a night light and that seemed to wake/keep him up at night. He is still in diapers. He doesnt drink much before bed but has alot to drink during the day (he has to drink alot as he has had kidney trouble and now only has one kidney - and yes ive had him checked up and he isnt unwell at the moment). I have the same problem with my husband romana :waves: he finds it difficult to wake up. If I want a hand in the middle of the night i virtually have to kick him out of bed and by that time i might as well do it myself. :)

I have done the control crying (he use to be up 24hours at a time) and it worked for me but I have to say it isnt for everyone. It only took us one go and he was able to put himself to sleep but not back to sleep in the middle of the night. If I dont go and see him when he wakes up in the night he just keeps crying but that little get up in the night just to tuck him in and turn on his music and sometimes give him an empty bottle to soothe himself affects my sleep as it takes me an hour to get back to sleep. Unfortunately at the start of the night and during daytime sleeps I'm the only one he will let take him to bed without him throughing a tantrum. I have to watch that i dont let him cry to much as he swallows alot of air and gets tummy aches at night time.

[Naomi]

I really feel for you, I know how this feels
but that little get up in the night just to tuck him in and turn on his music and sometimes give him an empty bottle to soothe himself affects my sleep as it takes me an hour to get back to sleep.

Can you catch up on sleep in other ways? Like napping during the day when he does (although this can have a negative impact on getting to sleep at night), or going to bed as soon as you've put him to bed so you get a solid block of a few hours in a row there. Also, maybe your partner can get up with him on the weekends so you can sleep in.

[kezabelle]

Not fun when you're tired :( Have you tried cutting him back to one nap a day? My youngest gave up her second sleep at about 10 months and I think my oldest were the same. Might help him if he needs the sleep. Other than that, I have no idea I'm afraid - somehow break the habit, but I don't know how.

[zoopadoopa]

Good idea kezabelle. I have been told for his age he should be having one two hour sleep a day by a child health nurse and I have tried that but he just gets to grumpy and hard to control. I dont know if it is true or not but I've been told not to worry if he isnt having only one sleep a day at this stage.

I'd love to be able to get some more sleep during the day Naomi but I usually am busy having a shower or making chores that I dont like my son to be around when I do. Sometimes if I am lucky my husband will let me have a little nap before dinner when he gets home from work but that seems to be as good as it gets.

The fact that he is going to sleep with the music and not self settling could be the problem. Basically if u can get him to go to sleep without it u will probably find he sleeps thru. There was something on the tv about it the other noght. Where do u live?? If in NSW try Tresillian(sp?) they will help:)

Kimba :yes: I think I might try your idea of not having any music for a few nights and see how we go. We live in Melbourne. I have decided to contact a sleep centre in Melbourne to see if they can give me any more ideas. I have a phone appointment end of January so wish us luck ;)

[kezabelle]

I wish you guys the very best! :) It's never fun when you're exhausted. And you really want this sorted before the next bub arrives. Hopefully the solution will be an easy one :)

[PreSchool Mama]

I sincerely hope the Sleep Center can help you, but here's my two cents worth.:)

Try to have some quiet time an hour or so before bed time. He'll probably find it hard to sleep after a lot of hustle bustle activity. Maybe, story time or something...

Try a slow massage every night. (Not for you...HIM!) :jump: I made it a point to give my son one, and he loved it.

Other than that, I found cutting down on his daytime sleep made him sleep like a log at night.