Electronic games and kids

[romana]

I was never a fan of electronic games, like Playstation or Nintendo DS, as far as kids are concerned. I told my husband that I would not allow my kids to spend time playing games and watching too much TV. My sister has always allowed her kids, who are older than mine, to spend time on these 2 activities, especially the games. Last year my 6 year old would play with his cousin's games whenever we'd be visiting my sister and I felt like I was denying him the fun, so we broke down and got him a Nintendo DS for Christmas . He's really gotten into it and is upset whenever I tell him to put it down. I am afraid that he's getting too attached to it and I do not like that one bit. He even gets to the point of crying when I take it away or if I don't give it to him. What also bothers me is that he is completely "out of it" when he's playing the games, to the point of not hearing me when I talk to him. We started utilizing the timer and when it rings he know that it's time to stop. Any suggestions?:dk:

[crashtestwoman]

Oh my goodness Romana, boys are a trial sometimes aren't they. My bigger boy (now 21) was so addicted to those games that he would just the hugest tantrum each and every time we turned them off that I just sold the bloody thing one morning and when he woke up they were gone. I warned him that that was what I was going to do and he didn't listen so I just did it and he had nothing. Unfortunately timers etc didn't work for him cause he would just sneak out into the loungeroom when we were asleep turn the tele down real low and play all bloody night. Cheeky little sod.
Anyhoo I've really got nothing to suggest except to say that I understand your fears completely and hopy you find a way to control this thing before it starts to control your son. >:)<

[romana]

Thank you so much for the feedback. So far the timer seems to work and the good thing about the Nintendo is that it's small so you can hide it away. Hopefully if we enforce strict rules regarding the playtime, it will keep everything in balance.

[Jude67]

Hi, our daughter used to be like that with her PS2. She's so much better now. I did the timed thing which at first she argued for "5 minutes" more, I told her it would become a "wet weather" toy only, when the sun is out she can get out in the yard and play. When she would insist on the extra time we got tough and pulled the cord and hid it. She soon learned that we meant business. She knows her boundaries now and is really good with it. Just takes time and patience. (They still might try it on occasionally, but the threat of the cord going works every time). :nana:
Good Luck.

[romana]

Thanks Jude, we will try that. I'll have a talk with him about the weather rule as well. :waves:

[Heather]

Yes....when the TT (Teenage Trial/Treasure) started playing games, I used a timer too.........make sure that it has a loud ring tho'.
I would love to have never introduced him to the bloody things but unfortunately every child has them these days and the only thing any parent can do is to put in place and enforce sensible rules.
I have had some very trying times with the TT and computer games, Nintendo, Play station, XBox etc but I am proud to announce that at 15, even tho' he spends too much money of purchasing these games, he can and does leave them and there is no longer temper tantrums or tears should I dare to interrupt his concentration or worse still his player miss a "kill" or be "killed" due to me.
Hang in there....you only have perhaps 9 years to go :hehe:

[Patricia]

I think the timer is a great idea just stick with it and make sure he knows that you mean what you say.

Maybe have a small amount of set time for its use and then perhaps give him the opportunity to earn a little more by good behaviour or chores etc..that way he might feel that he has some control over its usage too?

Just a suggestion...good luck :)

[kezabelle]

I had the same fears, having seen so many kids becoming addicted and aggressive as a result of not being able to be on it. It amazes me that all of my son's freinds (he's 6) are addicted! I was against it, but my mum went against my wishes and bought them a Playstation2 with an EyeToy. I didn't mind the eyetoy part as at least it's physical, but I was still concerned. thankfully, they almost never play it. I'll hop on with them occasionally, and especially to play Singstar with my daughter, but I think as hubby never ever hops on it, my son has learnt that out door stuff is more fun! So, we're very lucky.

The timer seems to be a good suggestion, and keep explaining to him how important it is to do other things, especially play outside, etc. Use everything you can find - there seems to be plenty of pamphlets and ads about it here, so hopefully you'll find some and show him.

One piece of advice I'd offer is to have a rule of no computer games for at least an hour before bedtime - it really does stimulate their brain and make it harder for them to settle. Just as too much time on it at once does. :)

[miss kiki]

oh, i think we all have this in common! :hehe:
richie is the same. him with the playstation, the computer, the tv. i just about had it. when i moved in i felt like john never really gave them time limits on anything and it had to stop. i know i feel like the bad one, but they do need some routine in their lives and not to fry their brains on things that won't really help them learn or grow. IMO. :) he even called me hitler tonight, but that's a different story! LOL.
anyway, we give them a half hour of tv a night. that's good enough for them to watch one of their shows each, which we feel is enough. they can watch each other's shows, that's fine, but only an hour and that's it. i rarely ever watch tv and DF is the same. as for the computer and playstation, we give them 15 minutes on there each. i feel like a half hour on the playstation and playing games on the computer is more than enough time too. :yes:
DF just recently bought richie a football, so he hasn't really been asking to watch tv because he wants to go outside and throw the ball around, so that's really good. i just feel bad, because DF will ask richie to help him with manly stuff around the house and richie rather watch tv and stuff, so that's why i wanted to stop it. like the tv was more important than spending time with DF.
becca can sit in her room for hours and play. she's not really into the games and only really asks if richie asks first! :)

[Cherie]

I think it all comes down to discipline, and yes I feel like Hitler when I'm saying enough now.LMAO
They don't quite jump to attention and salute, although they do move pretty damn fast.

[romana]

Thanks Ladies! Those are some great suggestions and advice! I've been passing them on to Tom and Filip is already seeing some of them implemented. He's quite a negotiator though, especially with daddy - Tom is not as tough as mom, even though he is good with the timer. I had a talk with Filip and told him that I am hiding the nintendo in the morning, so the nanny will not know where it is. Filip has been getting on it first thing in the morning before school and hasn't been eating breakfast. Taking it way before bedtime is a great suggestion, unfortunately it's too late tonight to implement it - he's on it right now with daddy setting the timer to 15 minutes. Thanks everyone!:waves:

[miss kiki]

wow, playing in the morning too? richie was the same with the tv..asking if he can watch before john's dad picks them up. of course i said no..more so because he would forget to change his socks and wash his face and would make excuses that he's not hungry for breakfast. i too feel like i'm more strict with them therefore i guess i'm a nazi, but sometimes you just can't let things slide IMO. i do feel bad though because i don't want john to feel like i'm taking over, so at times i just need to learn to shut it and have him deal with it.

[LisaHarman]

there is some good advice and ideas there.

we are the same with all computers and game style things. even though we have 2 laptops and a desktop in the house the kids are not allowed to use them unless it is for school homework and even then they are fully supervised.

we have a reward system in place where the kids can earn 15 minutes ont eh computer but they are only allowed to look at safe sites like Disney, Nick Jnr etc etc. They know that once the 15 minutes is up they are off. No complaints.

Recently we bought a Nintendo Wii and the same applies. We play the Wii as a family every friday night.. Pizza & games night but we play a game that we all enjoy as a family Carnival Games. We have also started playing Wii sports with the kids and they love it. There is tennis, bowling, golf, boxing, baseball and the kids love it. You are physically playing these sports and getting a work out at the same time.
The same rule applies though there is a time limit and they know that if they dont abide by it then no more.

If the kids have been naughty during the week there is no friday night games. This is our barter system. You mess up you get no games. It works.

I think with anything like this it tends to suck kids in and they dont want to leave the atmosphere of the games. thats where it makes me glad we never had money for computer consoles or games but now we do we keeping it simple and the kids know.. outside is the best form of play.

[kimba]

Seriously it is probably a novelty:yes: U said he has not had any games in the house like that before so he is probably just making up for lost time:yes: He will be at school in a couple of days(wont he?) so he will slow down on it then. My daughter is the same with the playstation but I will only let her play it for so long and when I say to stop she does. Maybe explain he plays by your rules or otherwise he doesnt play at all.

[LisaHarman]

its a shame these arent built in with child timers so you can pre programme them to shut off after a certain amount of time. then they have to remain off otherwise they wont work.

[romana]

Hi Everyone! I just wanted to give you an update on the progress with my 6 year old and his obsession with Nintendo DS. The timer has worked great! :yes:I also followed your suggestions and there is no playing in the morning before school. Today, I actually used the game as a reward for good behavior. Filip didn't want to sit thru his haircut, so I told him that if he was good, he could have extra 10 minutes on his Nintendo and he immediately cooperated.:jump: I think I can say now that we have it under control. Thanks everyone for your help!:)