OH what A morning!

[mel76]

OMG i'm so stressed out!
My son who started year 7 (high school) just didn't want to go to school today! The last 4 days have been good he loved it even though yesterday he was standing in the rain for an 1 & 1/2 hours as the school decided that they now finish early on Mondays (no notifying the parents just told the kids in the morning i was peeved big time x() & this morning i got blamed for that so now i feel like a crap mum:crying:
Now this morning was such an effort to get him dressed & to get him to school, i knew someone had said something to him but he wouldn't tell me until we were leaving. He was playing Chess with a friens & some older kids came up & started moving the pieces around & my son asked them not to do that & they said "your just newbies" my son took that to heart (he's very sensitive)
i tried to tell him that they were probably in year 8, & they were testing the water to see how much they can get away with now their not in year 7.
I said to him that everyone has been in year 7 at one time so don't listen to what they say...
Then it all started, i'm stupid, i can't do anything i hopeless at everything.
(talking about school work) but seriously i thought he was enjoying it & i thought he was doing fine, i knew he had a few Maths questions he didn't understand but i keep telling him that he has to ask the teacher for help,help, tell the teacher to explain it again, but he won't as he thinks he will look like an idiot & get teased.
How do i help my son fit into high school?
How do i get him to ask for help?
How do i get him to think better about himself?
Any advice wopuld be appreciated & it might calm me down a bit!

[Heather]

Oh Mel....welcome to the age of Teenagehood....it's bloody awful....we pull our hair out sometimes trying to help them when they want our help but don't....this is truely more painful than childbirth.

Encourage him to talk....
listen for hidden meanings...
suggest strategies to help him cope (be ready to be wounded to the core when they reject everything and call you stupid)...
when asking questions, and he in in the mood to answer them, try not to ask closed ones (y/n answer), keep them open and hopefully you will get more than a monosyllabic grunt...
never try and fight their battles for them with other pupils or Teachers, unless there is gross discrimination or bullying...
don't be afraid to speak to the student counsellor and if all else fails, hang the expense, see a professional.

Sam started High School the week after his father left us high and dry with no warning....the last three years have been the most testing time for us both.....almost everyone here can attest to that....and I am really starting to see some light....the past month or two he has been a different young man....easy to talk to, a lot more responsible and a darned sight more pleasant......of course I realise that this could all change in a wink, but I don't care because I really feel, despite some hiccoughs, we are improving.
Hang in there....some Ladies here have had a horrendous time with their Teen delights....they survived.

[mel76]

thanks Heather i will hang in there i really hate these hormones, now i know what my parents went through:yes:

[lucyloo]

It is such a big change for The Year 7 kids. They were the big kids at primary school, and they are the S**t kickers. I know this, my daughter started year 7 last year, now she is in year 8.
Just let him know to stand up for himself, don't take crap off the older kids, they would be testing everyone out, and they will keep picking on the weakest. Believe me, again, I know this, my DD found out the hard way.
High school is such a change, they have to move for each class, and if they arrive late to a class(if they get a bit lost), they get in trouble. Some of the teachers are fair, but others aren't.
Us as mothers, are going to cop it, as they get frustrated. Just try to ride through it, it is a rough time for them.

[miss kiki]

aw, mel, you're an excellent mother!
our high school year here starts at grade 9. :yes: i remember those years! kids can be so very mean and cruel. so i'm not sure what to tell you on that. i think he should stick up for himself and maybe it'd be good for him to join sports/activities that way he can meet and find more friends. then he'll feel like he fits into a certain niche and hopefully he won't be too upset.
as for asking for help, he just needs to do it himself. becca was the same way. she would never ask for help and would come home with schoolwork that i had to teach her all over again as if i was the one getting paid! i was furious. i told her then that if she doesn't ask for help and her grades don't improve, then she's not going to be put into any sports/activities next year. she finally asked after me telling her for at least 2 months to ask for help. eventually she did and i didn't talk to the teacher about it, because i felt like i wanted her to help herself and not for an adult to solve her problems. she got very upset by her grades and then realized she needed that help and needed to ask right away.
another thing, i'm sure he has a couple good friends. maybe this upcoming weekend see if his friend (s) can come over to hang out with him. maybe let him (them) sleepover for the night or something.
i hope everything turns out ok with him! :)

i too said some pretty nasty things to my elders in the family, especially my poor mother and i REGRET it royally to this day. i don't think us young adults/teens realize how much we really need our parents and appreciate them day in and day out until we actually leave home. :yes: he loves you, you know that. teens just go through so much crap that we end up shitting on our loved ones, because we feel that we're the only ones that matter.

[Denise]

Mel is that a normal thing in the east for kids to start High School in year 7, God I hope they don't do that here.
The only other thing I can think of is request a parent teacher interview with his Maths teacher, he'll be able to help you with ideas and your sons progress and give your son the extra help that is needed if he is made aware of any problems.:)

[Alexa]

Year 7 has always been the start of High School in NSW, what year do they start in WA, is it Year 8?

[Denise]

Yes Alexa Year 8 is the start of High School just assumed it was the same everywhere.

[Cherie]

I think he is really hurt that high school is not what he was thinking it would be.
He will find his way mel, try not to stress. He might be nervous that you may go up there to straighten things out.....LMAO LMAO
You are a good mum, don't let his words worry you, he is just upset.

[Di Nana]

It is a big change but one they have to do on there own as, as Lucyloo said they go from being the big kid at primary to the little kid in secondary, and kids will and have for years always pic on the turds, but we all survive to do it ourselves, just keep a watchful eye on him, but I am sure he will find his place, It normally takes a good two to three months to settle into all the new changes
so you may have to be his bouncing board for a while yet, just stay well padded and take the blows that's what mums are for

[yomamma]

Mel my boy started high school to (year 8 here). He hasn't had any problems with the big kids yet, apart from them all seeming to know him and yell out hello and how ya doing all the time (this is the higher grade kids) but I am having the same problems with homework and maths. Funny thing is he is in the Math/Science concept class and should not be having problems. I have told him to ask for help understanding things. I have never seen half the problems he brings home,, so maybe the teacher is still testing the waters and seeing who can do what.
The attitude we have been dealing with for a couple of years now and he is slowing learning to deal with everything as it happens. It gets easier, it has to. If you are at all worried a quiet word to his form room teacher might be a good idea.

[Mad Old Cow]

Mel, you are a good careing mum don't stress I'm sure there are a lot of kids (boys & girls) going throught the same thing as your DS this week & probably the next few weeks, maybe ask him what if anything he would like you or his dad to do for him about school.
I honestly think the beginning of high school is even harder for the mums then it is for the kids. good luck Mel, everything will work out it will just take a little while to sort itself out