DH and Housework ?

[romana]

Does your significant other help around the house? If so - how much? And what do you base your expectations on?

My husband steps up if he has to, but routinely he does not with most of the housework.Other than washing the laundry that is. I was really sick yesterday so he did do the dishes, straightened up and made some soup. He is an excellent father though and takes wonderful care of the kids in all aspects. He does work in the garage and outside of the house (landscaping, snow shoveling, etc.) almost every day.

I was a little dissapointed in the beginning when we got married because he was so different from what I was used to. My father does absolutely everything around the house from cooking to washing the floors to ironing. Then I looked at what their family was like and realized that his father would do "man" stuff in the garage and his mom would do everything else.

I do not think that a man has to help with everything around the house, but taking care of the dishes after I cook or sweeping the floor once in a while would be nice. What do you think?

[Kekka]

In the days where I had a live-in partner....and he certainly wouldn't be classed as "dear" he had rules that had to be followed:


He cleaned the bathroom & toilet
I had to do the inside of the house to a roster every Saturday
I was not allowed to go anywhere until said housework was done
He always looked after the outside of the home and took care of the cars
He cooked quite fatty foods which annoyed me.


Hence, someone'd have to be pretty special for me to consider co-habitation again.

[romana]

Oh Kekka,sorry to hear that, that's terrible how he treated you. No wonder you're no longer with him. Good for you for moving on. I'm sure there are nicer men out there somewhere.

I don't know if my father in law had rules quite lke that, but I know that he's neglected my mother in law. As soon as the kids moved out she filed for a divorce.

[Naomi]

Mine does most of the cooking as well as other stuff (usually after I ask him to). He works really long hours though so it's only fair I do more housework (I'm a stay-at-home-bum). Even if I don't do stuff, he never complains though. It's usually me whinging about how messy it is. (On a vaguely related note, I really should vacuum under the bed ... Sophia crawled under it this morning and came out the other side looking like an Old English Sheep Dog she was so covered in dust bunnies).

Kekka :O He had RULES? Glad you have moved on up from that ... sounds like a control freak :blink:

[Rachel]

I do not think that a man has to help with everything around the house, but taking care of the dishes after I cook or sweeping the floor once in a while would be nice. What do you think?
That is basically the same around here.. My DP does most of the outside work and only occasionally helps inside.. It bugs me sometimes and if he did the dishes I would be thrilled but he is a good dad and works long hours in his job.

[Denise]

I would do most of the inside chores and OH would do outside I guess like your inlaws Romana. This I don't mind as I'm a SAHM so think its only fair.

Alot of the time on weekends Shane will cook and sometimes he gets into a cleaning frenzy, trouble is he just chucks things out or burns them (another story which I still haven't forgiven him for:hehe:)

[lucyloo]

OMG Kekka, scary!!! :headh:
My husband and I have owned our own business since July07, so he has had to really had to start helping. That was one of my 'rules' about taking on the business. We both work 6 days a week, and we both come home and deal with the house. He cooks, does the washing, makes the bed, cleans the kitchen:yes:
I have a cleaning lady come in once a week wash the floors and do the bathrooms, and also do any other washing that hasn;t been done.
Before this busy time in our lives, and when i was at home, he really did nothing at all, unless I asked him, but again he wouldn't complain if it wasn't done!!:D

[romana]

Well, we work the same amount of hours at our day job, even though his work is more physical (he works in construction while I am a dental hygienist).

But I am running a business out of my home as well which takes some time away from housework. Even though he doesn't help with that , he does not complain either when it doesn't get done. He does help with the kids though.

Maybe I should think about hiring a cleaning lady.

By the way, Naomi, I have a Sofia too - she's 3.

[Kekka]

There you go girls......NOW do you understand why I embrace life after 11 years of living to a control freak's RULES! I gained stacks of weight when he finally left because I wasn't doing so much cleaning and my friends came over for dinner parties because they hadn't felt welcome for the previous decade.

Every time I adopted/obeyed a rule, he'd create another one..... :roll:

Hence, I'm pretty relaxed about home duties now. Red and Alexa can vouch for that having been here the other week!! :D

[Alexa]

Kerrie, Kerrie, Kerrie...what am I going to do with you, your place was spotless and immuculate...it was very welcoming and a very, very nice house, I loved staying with you...and apart from you giving up your bed! It was perfect, and look how clean you stove top is!!!

My ex never cooked and never cleaned, he did outside stuff. It didn't bother me as I like housework and I liked it done the way I wanted, and that way it would be done properly. He worked long hours too and so did I but I didn't complain unless he left wet towels around, that would drive me nuts, he always cleaned up after he ate, ie take his plate to the sink and rise it, he was very much a mummy's boy and I new that when we got together, he is back living with his mother now at the ripe old age of 38, and yes she still does everything for him.

[sandydee]

My hubby does most of the outside stuff,he helps with some housework at times and most nights will wash the dishes ,I do the cooking :yes: DS wipes up/packs away.

[Heather]

That's how it was here once.
Now...well I have a teenager....?

[crashtestwoman]

My beloved does all the cooking (seeing as I can't cook LMAO at least that's what I let him think) and occassionally if I'm snowed under with other things he will wash and hang out etc. But you know I don't mind because I'm a stay at home mum now and he pays for everything and never ever quibbles about me spending money and always encourages me to do things outside the home, so because he treats me like a princess I don't mind making sure he really doesn't have to do anything at home (except the cooking, which he loves doing anyway. I think he thinks I'll kill him with food poisioning if I cook for him, trained him well hey LMAO).

[Di Nana]

mu husband does to much round the house, when we had the farm fair enoughas I worked allday with him and we would both come home and just get stuck into the house work and cooking, but now we are both retired, He is driving me nuts he is one of those men that is always on the go and can make one feel awfully guilty for being caught reading a book or worse still on here
what annoys me the most is him getting the vacuum cleaner out, I can't stand the noise unless I am the one pushing it

[Supa]

I do most of the inside stuff as hubby is a shift worker & it really takes its toll on his body, BUT if I am snowed under with orders he willpitch in & help without me asking :)

[miss kiki]

my dad did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. my mom was the one that did everything. she even mowed the lawn at times. my dad just wasn't too dependable i suppose.
DF does everything. when i do clean, he always asks if i need help. sometimes i'll just tell him to do the dishes and that's it and go through his papers, which stacks up by the end of the week. (mail, etc.) i just don't really like the way he cleans, so i rather do it. :) he knows that, but still asks and that's nice that he does! before i realized that i didn't like his cleaning, lol, he did help me with everything. mopping, dusting, etc. now it's just the dishes once in awhile and he also does all the landscaping here too. i'm sure if i wasn't feeling good or something would happen, he'd take over without a doubt. either way, he was cleaning the house each week before i even moved in!
i don't expect him to do much now, because he's a hard worker and i sit home all day now, even though i am looking for a job, it still wouldn't be right for me to expect him to clean everything when i'm the one making more of a mess! :hehe:

[Mad Old Cow]

My DH vaccumed for me today, now he is whinging he has hurt his bloody calf muscle (what a hero) lol
he does help if i ask him & at times i like to tell him he needs to lift his act & do more to help, i am mean

[Patricia]

Adam does lots around the place both inside and out. Both he and Cal realise that there are days when I just can't manage much at all so they both chip in to do what needs to be done. I would be lost without the pair of them :)