Niece Pregnant at 15!!!

[Jewly]

Hi everyone,

I have just found out that my niece is pregnant and she has only just turned 16, so she was actually pregnant at 15. The entire family have been expecting this for some time, because my brother and his wife, (my niece's step-mother) have allowed her to date a boy 6 years older than her for a while now.

I'm just wondering if the boy could possibly get into trouble, as he was having sex with her underage, and surely the hospital will pick up on that fact.

Does anyone know what might happen, if anything.

Julie

[Patricia]

Sorry Jewly I am not sure of the legal implications of all of this, all that I can suggest is that you all support your niece and make sure she knows that you are all there for her when she needs your help.....and she will if she is pregnant and 16.

[MissieK]

Depending on the age gap, I think it's statutory rape, but I'm not 100% sure. Maybe a call to Lifeline or something like that can give you more info while staying anonymous.

I agree with Patricia, make sure you let her know you are there for her. She's going to need a lot of support.

Melissa

[Leigh]

Oh god, I do not want my girls to grow up :(

I would imagine it would be statutory rape, no doubt there was more than one "time" before she was 16. I think the family would need to draw the attention of the police. That is if they are wanting to. Are they still together?

While I agree it is a terrible situation. Maybe he was not aware of her true age? Is he willing to support her and the baby? Maybe him working and supporting the child rather than having him in trouble with the law and straining the relationship with him and the family is better in the long run for the child. But that all depends on what his attitude is to the situation.

[Jewly]

My niece has been seeing this guy for about 18 months now, and we all thought he was crazy for letting her date a boy that was 20 then. He certainly knew her age, and my brother has known what's been going on for a long time, but he condones it, so they won't be bringing it to the police's attention that's for sure.

I don't want that to happen either, but I was just wondering if the hospital would bring Children's Services in to talk with them about. They have both parents support and they are currently living with his parents, so hopefully they can manage to stay together and make a go of it.

I don't think falling pregnant so young is such a tragedy as it was years ago and she will still have her options open to her to make a decent life, but I don't really think she knows what's ahead of her, and she will find it hard to cope at times.

Our family isn't that close and we don't really see that side all that much, but I will support them as best as I can.

[Naomi]

My (now) SIL fell pregnant at 15 to my brother (who at the time was about the same age as your niece's boyfriend) - the police won't get involved unless the girl (or her family) press charges.

At the time, her family were (understandably) devastated and threatned to go to the police, but she and my brother were still together and she obviously didn't want them to. She and my brother have been married for years now and have two beautiful children so it did all work out well.

[Naomi]

but I don't really think she knows what's ahead of her, and she will find it hard to cope at times.
Hugo was planned, we were so prepared - so we thought - but it was still a huge learning curve for us and to be honest, I had times (still do occasionally) where it all feels like too much, in spite of having so much support around me. I do think it will be a huge transition for her, but I am glad both of their families are supportive, and I hope it all works out for them.

[MissieK]

I struggled having my first baby at 24, I can't imagine what it would be like at 15!

I wish her all the best. Family services may get involved, or they may have a social worker talk to her to make sure things are good for the baby - living environment, etc. With family support around her, I'm sure she'll be fine.

Melissa

[Pam]

Hi Julie,

I can only imagine how stressful this must be for your niece - and of course all the family. Fingers crossed it will all work out well and everyone is happy. Whatever directions are taken, supporting your niece is paramount for the long road ahead.


While I agree it is a terrible situation. Maybe he was not aware of her true age? Is he willing to support her and the baby? Maybe him working and supporting the child rather than having him in trouble with the law and straining the relationship with him and the family is better in the long run for the child. But that all depends on what his attitude is to the situation.

I agree with Leigh, the whole situation needs to be assessed carefully before jumping in the deep end.

My best wishes to your Niece.

[Jewly]

Thanks everyone for your replies.

I know every situation is different and they have just as much chance I guess of making things work, as anyone else. I, and I don't think anyone else in the family is considering getting the police involved, but I was concerned that it might happen anyway.

I mind my own business with things like this, unless I feel that a child is being mistreated, then I wouldn't hesitate in contacting Children's Services. I have done that in the past, with my ex-neighbours children, and I was later told by Children's Services, that they had known for some time about the problems with these people, and that they had finally lost their kids and had little chance of getting them back and for them to do that, it has to be pretty bad, which it was.

[Leigh]

That is good to hear that there they are together still, and have the support of both families. Hopefully they can stay together, or at least keep a good relationship.

Yes, I didn't think they would do something about it unless the family actually made an official complaint.

It is true there is more support these days, as sadly it is becoming more and more common. When I was at school, a friend of mine got pregnant at 15. You may have seen the school in the news a few times, with their education program for teen mums. She was the first mum, and the reason the program started. Our principal and teachers were wonderful in supporting her during her pregnancy and after the birth. She was able to return to school and continue on to finish school. I think a lot more school are becoming more aware of the problem, and trying to help rather then toss them aside.

Jake is 4 years older than me, and we were together when I was 16. I don't think my mum had much of a problem with it. And at the time it didn't really seem like much of a big deal. The numbers may sound worse than they really are, and every guy is different i guess, they aren't all out for "you know what" ;)
We all know we are the superior sex :P and it takes the guys a little while to catch up.

[~Tracy~]

I want to send **hugs** to your neice & her family. I hope it all works out well for her & wow.....16. :hug:

[PinkDot]

My brothers girlfriend was 17 when she got pregnant (I know thats a bit different from 15 but its still quite young). I think the main thing which got them through it was having both sides of the family as support. They are still together (7 years later) but I doubt they would have been where they are now without family helping in anyway they could.
Its going to be hard for her, and she will have to grow up a bit faster than she otherwise would have. Hugs to your family.

[Jewly]

Leigh..I have heard a lot about the school you're talking about. I saw a doco on it a few years back and I thought it was such a great idea.

Thanks for all your messages girls...It has made me feel better about the whole thing and Im sure the family will all stand by her.

[Patricia]

I was just wondering how your neice is getting on Jewly...is she coping ok ?

[Jewly]

Sorry Patricia...I only just saw your message.

As far as I know everything is still going well for my neice but I haven't actually seen her in a little while. We don't really get together that much these days and when we do, the older nieces and nephews don't tend to come along so, I usually only see them about twice a year.

Thanks for thinking of her :)