bad day

[debambam]

i've had the day from hell with Zoe today. I actually lost my temper and yelled at her, something i never do. ;( Her chart is still working, and the idea of getting a cross (she ended up with 6 today!!) still upsets her.
I know this is going to sound horrible, but it's like i didn't like her today. I didn't enjoy being with her, didn't enjoy her behaviour and didn't enjoy the fighting. I don't like these feelings! :argh: :argh:
I don't remember being this frustrated with her for such a long time. Everything was NO, or she would flat out ignore me, or the extreme, get in my face(i mean literally). I'm soooo hoping this is just a stage, it's kind of been building for a little while. The strange thing is, it was my day off work and i'm beginning to notice that she's like this on most of my days off.
Anyway just thought i'd vent.....if you have any tips, or strong cocktail recipes let me know!

[ali]

i feel for u dear i cant really help sorry!! my friend has a little girl 5 now and she has her off days and these days are hard to be around her but it sunds like you are doing a great job :hug: keep up the good work :hug: by the way just one question can you explan the chart to me? sounds good
best luck ;)

[debambam]

i've attached it here. she gets stickers or ticks for good things or doing the task, and crosses for bad things! when there are a lot ofstickers and not many crosses she gets a reward, something like extra time on the computer or we'll take her to rumble tumble. when there are too many crosses, or 2 crosses for the same thing, it's a time out and/or a relevant consequence depending on severity of "crime"!!! very basic to allow us the discretion to adjust the reward or punishment to suit the deed.

i'm thinking positive today..
"i will have a good day with zoe"
"i will have a good day with zoe"
"i will have a good day with zoe"
"i will have a good day with zoe"

;)

[mel35]

Sorry to hear you had such a bad day yesterday, I hope today is a better one for you :hug:

Everyone has a bad day some time, and kids like to push the boundaries and see how far they can go. My kids nearly drive me insane when we get a few days of rain and they are stuck inside.

Sounds like you are doing all the right things with her and I'm sure she'll try to avoid those crosses if she doesn't like getting them ;)

[~Tracy~]

:hug: What can I say....some days its hard being mum. Some days it would be nice to have a day off being mum becasue things arnt going so well.
I have four kids & my oldest is 10. I know how you feel......dont beat yourself up about it tho.
Remember tomorrow is another day & you can start anew again :hug:

[Naomi]

Hey Kelly, this is what I think (so you can take it or leave it ;) ). Being a mum is like any other relationship in that things won't always go the way you want them to, you'll get annoyed, and sometimes really not enjoy your child/being a mum etc etc.

Zoe is getting to that age where she will be trying to exert her independence a bit more (especially given she is smart as a whip!) and trying to feel her way in the world - which means testing her boundaries at home with you ... hard work for you, but it seems to me like you are doing all the right things (I love the chart idea, will definitely be using it when Hugo is older) - and she knows you love her to bits! At the risk of being jumped on, I think children do need discipline within a secure, loving environment, it's how they learn what is and isn't acceptable behaviour.

And kids, just like grown-ups just have a bad day every so often - it doesn't make her a bad kid or you a bad mum, it's just a bad day. I know you know all this (and know it much better than me) but it doesn't hurt to hear it from someone else sometimes - you're a great mum and you have a great little girl. I really hope today is much better for you both.

[debambam]

thanks for the support everyone. it doesn't seem to be getting any better at our house, hence my absence after my burst of posting! i've actually taken the chart off the fridge (which she HATED) but i've told her she needs to prove that she can be "responsible" enough to have the opportunity of earning rewards and setting goals back. Seems to be having a little impact. Not sure whats going on but i'm pretty sure we'll work it out! Sometimes i think it's because the expectations we have of her are too high, kind of easy to forget she's only 4 with some of the concepts and ideas she can comprehend. She's still only a little girl and we have to keep reminding ourselves of that...pretty hard when she comes out with things like "maybe the naughty people in london just need a big hug and they'll stop hurting people"
Anyway, thanks for everything guys! i'll let you know how things go...

[MissieK]

Huge hugs. I hope today is a better day for both of you.

Melissa

[duckdowne]

I hope this reads right as it is my first visit to this web site.)

I am a mum of 3 boys (5, 3, and 2 mths). Needless to say they drive you crazy :O and make you laugh out loud LMAO all in a space of 5 minutes. We are having similar dramas to you, mainly with our 3 yr old. As hard as it is, we keep having to remind ourselves to try to be consistent and patient. The worst days are those when I am tired at the beginning of the day and they seem to be fighting etc from the moment they get out of bed! My strategy on these dyas is to get out of the house for a couple of hours in the morning and let them run off some energy! I find after that they will be happier and often have a sleep... giving me time-out! I think I also feel better for having gotten out of the house. I know the above is not any great revelation but something to keep in mind!

Good luck and hang in there!