Empty Nest Syndrome

[Empty Nester]

Sitting here at the computer wondering if any other "mum" is feeling like I do right now.

There's plenty of work that needs doing.........tidying, washing, ironing.......general housework........but do you think I can raise the motivation to get stuck into it?

As the mum of 3 adult children.......30, 27 & 25 years old.........the last of whom left the nest the weekend before last.........I can only put my feeling of melancholy down to "empty next syndrome". Which is really funny since even the 27 year old who left so recently, was rarely home, even when he was residing here.........but at least I knew he would be home at some stage. I even miss his very messy room!!!! ha ha ha

I remember when in years gone by.........longing for some "me" time........time to do what I wanted.......when I wanted. Longed for the freedom of not having to do anything for anybody............but now despite being lucky enough to have a loving husband I don't feel I have anybody to talk to about my feelings. He just doesn't feel it............he is relishing in the "empty nest".

I have read all about things "I could" do to fill the day...........volunteering, short courses, etc. etc.......but for right now......nothing could make me get out and just do it. I am confident that, as more time passes, these feelings will diminish but for now I feel a little like my "useful" life is over.

Information I have read on this "syndrome" tell me I should talk to people who have been through it and get these feelings of "uselessness" out.........but quite honestly, I don't feel I have anybody in my life who is in the same situation........all my friends have either have some work commitments or still have children living at home.

My query here is...........has anybody else felt this way and if so...........how did they deal with this stage of life.

[Cackle]

I'm going through exactly the same thing. My son has been gone 40 days now and the girls 4 years. Every day I miss them. The first week my son left I couldn't sit still for five minutes
and cleaned everything in sight. EVEN THE TOP OF THE FRIDGE....now I don't want to do anything. I don't even feel hungry, I know where you're coming from and they say it gets easier so maybe we just have to get through the days. Baby steps

[Mad Old Cow]

Yes i went through it when my daughter left home 17 years ago & my hubby ended up getting me a puppy & i tell you what, i got a lot more fun out of that puppy then i ever did from my daughter , my son left home 10 years ago & i was happy to see him go
Call a friend & go to the movies or out for lunch, even just call her over for a coffee & yummy cake . Blieve me, you will get over it & feel very happy that you have now got your own self back to do things just for you . It really is fun

[Cherie]

Oh I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish..
Sorry to hear you are a bit sad now the last one has gone..Now Come on up to Qld, and I will introduce you to my friends Champagne and Camembert..

My query here is...........has anybody else felt this way and if so...........how did they deal with this stage of life.

I am loving it, I go to the movies every week, off to lunch once a week, shopping, coffee mornings with friends..Ohhhhhh it's just lovely..(I do this even though I still have one here.)
My kids are 35, 33 and 30..I just need the 35 yr old to go and I will be free..free at last.

[Empty Nester]

Thanks for that Cackle (love the name) .......knew I wouldn't be alone.

This was interesting reading, if you're interested.

http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/B...e?OpenDocument

Not sure if I have linked it properly..........but hope so.

One day at a time eh!!!

[Cackle]

Absolutely one day at a time and you do find things to fill in the hole a little. I just booked online to have a pedicure, I've never had one before. Why don't you book one as well and we'll come back here and compare notes??

Thanks for the link :-)

[Naomi]

longing for some "me" time........time to do what I wanted.......when I wanted.

This is where I am at, at the moment.

It's really early days for you yet. Give yourself time to get used to the changes. Cackle's suggestion is great, do something indulgent just for yourself.

[old woman]

I can see us NEVER having an empty nest *sigh* mostly due to economics

[Cherie]

I am thinking like you OW, I am scared my DD will never go. She did go and come back, and then went again, and then came back..I am planning a huge party when she goes the next time.

[Empty Nester]

Having a little chuckle reading all your posts.........so thanks for all of them. It's really nice just to know there are others out there willing to give of their time to answer my question.

The first thing that came into my mind when I read some of them was......."be careful what you wish for because you might just get it".

A trip to Queensland and champagne & camenbert, sounds great, as does a pedicure, movies, lunches........and I am sure I will get to that stage soon........never been one to let myself stay down for too long........but for now I might just head off to bed......tomorrow is another day............and there is always Mum's shopping to be done!!!!! And of course a long weekend to look forward to.

Look forward to hearing how that pedicure went Cackle........