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Thread: Join the Army!
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14-03-2010 09:16 PM #1
Join the Army!
Read all the way to the last line!


Life in the Australian Army...
Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town west of Quilpie, in the far south west of Queensland )
Dear Mum & Dad,
I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the station - tell them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody horses to get in, no calves to feed, no troughs to clean - nothin'!! Ya haz gotta shower though, but its not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing!
At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks or goanna stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed again until noon and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we've been on a 'route march' - geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the bullock paddock!!
This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody dingo's arse and it don't move and it's not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target - it's a piece of piss!! You don't even load your own cartridges, they comes in little boxes, and ya don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload!
Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster.
Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers - he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders and as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet, but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.
I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.
Your loving daughter,
Sheila
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14-03-2010 09:27 PM #2
Re: Join the Army!
That will send me
all the way to work Jen !!!
IF I AM NOT ON HERE, IT IS BECAUSE I AM DOING HOUSEWORK BECAUSE MY COMPUTOR HAS BROKEN!
Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes" - William Gibson
A stranger is only a friend you haven't met yet
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14-03-2010 09:30 PM #3
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14-03-2010 09:31 PM #4
Re: Join the Army!
Isnt that a cack
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14-03-2010 09:32 PM #5Banned
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
- Location
- in a house
- Age
- 41
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Re: Join the Army!
Just read it to Keith Jen and he burst out laughing , top job he said there mate.
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14-03-2010 09:41 PM #6
Re: Join the Army!
Great read Jen,

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15-03-2010 07:20 AM #7
Re: Join the Army!
I had a giggle
I am beautiful inside and out so I should love myself unconditionally.
Weather it be or weather it not Heather complains 'cause it's far from hot
Her disdain for the rain is catching on quickly To Mad Old Cow she can be quite prickly
Grab jumper, a scarf or even a dog.
That'll warm you up, you jolly great snob!!
In humour by Kekka
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15-03-2010 07:20 AM #8
Re: Join the Army!
I had a giggle
I am beautiful inside and out so I should love myself unconditionally.
Weather it be or weather it not Heather complains 'cause it's far from hot
Her disdain for the rain is catching on quickly To Mad Old Cow she can be quite prickly
Grab jumper, a scarf or even a dog.
That'll warm you up, you jolly great snob!!
In humour by Kekka
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15-03-2010 07:23 AM #9
Re: Join the Army!
Looks like you had 2 giggles H
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15-03-2010 07:33 AM #10
Re: Join the Army!
Well it was good.
I am beautiful inside and out so I should love myself unconditionally.
Weather it be or weather it not Heather complains 'cause it's far from hot
Her disdain for the rain is catching on quickly To Mad Old Cow she can be quite prickly
Grab jumper, a scarf or even a dog.
That'll warm you up, you jolly great snob!!
In humour by Kekka




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loved this one, I mean life was nasty and ppl had their little ways of coping and getting through those hurrendous times, power to them
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