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  1. 28-12-2011 10:43 AM #1
    Heather
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    New Year Resolutions for Pets

    15. I will not eat other animals' poop.

    14. I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.

    13. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

    12. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

    11. I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.

    10. Cats: Circulate a petition that sleeping become a juried competition in major animal shows.

    9. Come to understand that cats are from Venus; dogs are from Mars.

    8. Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.

    7. Hamster: Don't let them figure out I'm just a rat on steroids, or they'll flush me!

    6. Get a bite in on that freak who gives me that shot every year.

    5. Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much.

    4. Cats: Use new living room sofa as scratching post.

    3. January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock!
    January 2nd - December 31: Re-live victory over the sock.

    2. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

    AND the Number 1 New Year's Resolutions Made by Pets...

    1. I will NOT chase the stick until I see it LEAVE THE IDIOT'S HAND
    I am beautiful inside and out so I should love myself unconditionally.

    Weather it be or weather it not Heather complains 'cause it's far from hot
    Her disdain for the rain is catching on quickly To Mad Old Cow she can be quite prickly
    Grab jumper, a scarf or even a dog.
    That'll warm you up, you jolly great snob!!
    In humour by Kekka
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  2. 28-12-2011 10:47 AM #2
    Naomi
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    Re: New Year Resolutions for Pets

    Oh I am 100% in agreement over the head in the fridge. One of mine tries that all the time and it freaking drives me crazy.
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  3. 28-12-2011 11:58 AM #3
    old woman
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    Re: New Year Resolutions for Pets

    I would add to that.If I am an outdoor cat, I will not use my next door neighbours newly dug garden as my personal toilet facility!!

    Nice one Heather, some strike a chord
    IF I AM NOT ON HERE, IT IS BECAUSE I AM DOING HOUSEWORK BECAUSE MY COMPUTOR HAS BROKEN!

    Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes" - William Gibson
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  4. 28-12-2011 02:05 PM #4
    LoveMyFamily
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    Re: New Year Resolutions for Pets

    Bahaha my disgusting dog raids the litter tray *vomit* and my cat climbs into the fridge lol.
    Vegetarian, nature loving, instinctive parenting working mother. It works for my family
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  5. 28-12-2011 07:18 PM #5
    MissSmack
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    Re: New Year Resolutions for Pets

    ahahahah great stuff!

    For my boys,

    Ace: i will not swipe at my brother for no reason. He's allowed to walk past me.
    Ace: I will cuddle my mother more.

    Ollie: I will not meow when someone dares to share the three seater sofa with me.
    Ollie: I will not randomly swipe my brother when he dares to stretch in my general direction.
    Ollie: I will get used to wearing the harness my mother bought me and try to escape less.
    Ollie: I will avoid waking my mother at 415 am by pawing her closed eyelids.

    xx
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  6. 28-12-2011 08:44 PM #6
    Cherie
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    Re: New Year Resolutions for Pets

    Shadow's resolutions:
    I will not keep nesting on dad's back while he is trying to sleep.
    I will try not to keep standing on dad's feet the minute he takes a break.
    I will stop miaowing for milk when I only want water.....
    I will eat all my food before screaming for more.


    Everything has beauty, not everyone sees it.
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  7. 28-12-2011 08:45 PM #7
    Heather
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    Re: New Year Resolutions for Pets

    Sounds like your furbies have you exactly where they want you.
    I am beautiful inside and out so I should love myself unconditionally.

    Weather it be or weather it not Heather complains 'cause it's far from hot
    Her disdain for the rain is catching on quickly To Mad Old Cow she can be quite prickly
    Grab jumper, a scarf or even a dog.
    That'll warm you up, you jolly great snob!!
    In humour by Kekka
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  8. 28-12-2011 08:48 PM #8
    cayte
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    Re: New Year Resolutions for Pets

    Miss smack they sound like resolutions my kids need, rather than my dogs!
    Very funny heather
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