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Thread: Zen wisdom

  1. #1
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    Zen wisdom

    1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.

    2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any.

    3. No one is listening until you pass wind.

    4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

    5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

    6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

    7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

    8.. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

    9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

    10. If you lend someone 20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.

    11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

    12. Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree.

    13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

    14.. Good judgment comes from bad experience ... and most of that comes from bad judgment.

    15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

    16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.

    17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

    18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

    19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our arse - then things just keep getting worse.

    20. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night






    Namaste

  2. #2
    AFW Junkie
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    Re: Zen wisdom

    Love all of them!
    If you like you can visit me on http://happyasapiginmud.wordpress.com/

  3. #3
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    Re: Zen wisdom

    Bloody funny I lol at the very last one

  4. #4
    Count your age by friends, not years
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    Re: Zen wisdom

    KP would definitely agree with number 2

    LOve em all
    Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes" - William Gibson
    A stranger is only a friend you haven't met yet

  5. #5
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    Re: Zen wisdom

    Good ones.

  6. #6
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    Re: Zen wisdom

    That was a funny read LOL
    "Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."

  7. #7
    In Never Never Land !!
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    Re: Zen wisdom

    Very funny Melinda...... I especially like the last one.....
    Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live !




  8. #8
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    Re: Zen wisdom

    No 15 is my fav......
    Namaste

  9. #9
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    Re: Zen wisdom

    Quote Originally Posted by Melinda View Post
    No 15 is my fav......
    You obviously have never taken a laxative & sleeping tablet together

  10. #10
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    Re: Zen wisdom

    Quote Originally Posted by Mad Old Cow View Post
    You obviously have never taken a laxative & sleeping tablet together
    nope......
    Namaste

 

 

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