Working vs staying at home

**redrobyn** · 10-05-2012 03:42 PM

You do what suits you and your partner as long as you're happy with it doesn't matter what everyone else does..some people are happy being at home some are happy being at work it's all about choice..Different courses for different horses.

**Padfoot** · 10-05-2012 04:13 PM

My aunty tried working, she finds that she becomes too anxious. They never had kids but my uncle working and my aunty staying home worked better for them.

**Naomi** · 10-05-2012 05:18 PM

This is my background - I worked part time during school and then full time after finishing uni until I had my first baby (about 7.5 years ago). Since then I haven't been in the paid workforce. My youngest child started full time school this year and now I work in a voluntary capacity two days a week, look after my niece one day a week and have other regular commitments for various things. My husband works very long hours, usually in another city. So for us it's best if I'm around to look after the day-to-day stuff with the kids/home, fortunately we are financially able to do this.

What I have found is *most* people accept that we all do what is best for our family within the circumstances that we are experiencing.

There are some on both sides (working or SAH) who are adamant their way is the only way, I kind of wonder if they are expressing some dissatisfaction in their own life that causes them to argue so vehemently, but I try not to let it get to me.

We do what works best for us, and from what I've seen, working mothers can cop just as much flack from others about their choice to work - you can't really win

Honestly, if it works best for you whether you have kids or not, then it's the right choice. Try not to let it get to you (though I know that can be hard!).

**lucyloo** · 10-05-2012 05:23 PM

You sound like you have plenty to do to keep you busy CR.

Like everyone has already said, you do what works for you and your partner. It is no one else's business.

It sounds like a great life to me.

**Sparkles** · 10-05-2012 07:56 PM

it amazes me people concern themselves with others choices.
maybe just maybe they might be a tad jealous you are in a postion to do this.

**Alexa** · 11-05-2012 09:47 AM

Originally Posted by Sparkles

it amazes me people concern themselves with others choices.
maybe just maybe they might be a tad jealous you are in a postion to do this.

Yep you've hit the nail on the head with that Melinda.

**Heather** · 11-05-2012 12:07 PM

To each their own....no one has the right to denigrate another's choice.

**just123** · 11-05-2012 02:05 PM

wow you sound just like me exept i have kids it's nice to read all this it makes me feel so much better too

Originally Posted by countryrose

Thanks ladies! What a lovely supportive group of women you are! I guess the resounding theme is do what makes us both happy, which I certainly was NOT while in my last job!! Crying every night etc from stress, but no alternative as I was supporting him through the last 3 months of his degree.

Alexa - I thought I would be bored, we had bets on how long I would last before tearing out my hair, but 3 months in I'm not bored at all, oddly enough!

Cackle - I do do a bit of volunteer work - I help out with the church kids club (I'm not religious, but friends with the people that run it) once a week, and we've joined the SES up here.

The rest of the time I am cooking, cleaning, painting, doing crafts, gardening, writing.... etc

We are thinking of trying for sh!ldren (

) some time in the next year as well.

The other thing I do really well is manage the household budget - I spent ages living with a single income (my own) and a mortgage, so am very good at cutting costs and living simply - so in some ways I sort of am contributing to the household income because of the money I save us

**countryrose** · 13-05-2012 04:07 PM

Originally Posted by Ted E Bear

CountryRose, the person asking What are you doing atm was probably just making small talk - bit like How are you what are you up to? - I dont think a general question like that has any hidden undertones or implications.
Its just someone being friendly.

Oh, I'm sure she was just being friendly - she's a lovely person after all; I think the question just caught me off guard and tapped right into my own insecurities (from my Mum and other people being on my back about getting a job).

Originally Posted by Naomi

I kind of wonder if they are expressing some dissatisfaction in their own life that causes them to argue so vehemently, but I try not to let it get to me.

I never thought of it that way, but you could well be right Naomi!

Originally Posted by Sparkles

it amazes me people concern themselves with others choices.
maybe just maybe they might be a tad jealous you are in a postion to do this.

Most probably

Well it seems a part time job has become available in the next town over which several people have encouraged me to apply for, so I'll probably put in an application. Nothing to lose after all.

**Stormy** · 13-05-2012 05:57 PM

Part time is nice if it's work you'll enjoy and you don't mind the drive. A few extra dollars floating around never hurts, even if you're not in the position where you have to work iykwim.

Personally I'll keep working fulltime for a fair while yet (unless babies interfere) but I enjoy my job 95% of the time. I think that makes a big difference - the enjoyment factor - and if it ever becomes less enjoyable, that's when I know I need a long vacation.